No Man's Sky

I took the day off today with the intention of spending it playing No Man's Sky, however I didn't read the release date 'fine print' in that, here in the UK, it's 'unlocked' via Steam at 5pm!

Oh dear, a bit of a wasted day off then.

Still, it's not entirely wasted... I'm going to go Pokemon hunting via the Gym, go in the sauna, relax for a bit, do some shopping then be back for the great 'unlocking' event on Steam!!

w00t, bring on the space adventure baby!!

A Rusty Sunrise

Rust really has nice graphics... here's a nice sunrise:

Rust Server Header

Here's my new server header image... produced in precisely 3 minutes ;)

Rust

You know, since I've been playing Rust I've discovered one thing: The Rust playing community is an evil, paranoid bunch.

I realise that on most sandbox MMORGs you get players who tear through the landscape with their fingers permanently on the trigger but in Rust it's a full-on epidemic. So much so, that, rather than the usual 'Do we have PVP on this server?' approach in other games, in Rust it's PVP by default and people ask 'anyone PVE-ing?'!

If you're a n00b in Rust, forget any kind of help, if you approach anyone you're shot on sight, regardless of whether you have any loot in your inventory or not! Or if you've just started a building and it only consists of a wood foundation, door and four wood walls, it get's wrecked regardless.

Rust simply does not take any prisoners, you're killed, stripped and probably cooked just for the fun of it. I wouldn't be surprised if Governments weren't using it as a 'what if' scenario on human behaviour during a holocaust!

I'm running my own server and there's been a lot of discussion about where everyone stands when it comes to PVP, and despite assurance from my admins that there's no KOS unless airdrops are happening or when the chopper is out... there just seems to be an air of... unease about the server, like they're all waiting for something bad to happen and then all hell breaks loose. I think that's inherent in Rust, it's clearly a game like no other... even DayZ comes second when it's down to paranoid shoot-on-sight gaming behaviour!

Admins seem to be generally vilified by normal players and that's because in the past Rust's 'behavioural modification' has caused many other admin players to abuse their privileges and go around rampantly killing anyone who get's in their way (I've even experienced this whilst playing on another server).

An example of this was the other evening on my server, I was flying around checking resource nodes because I'd heard of a bug related to them in the developer community. Whilst flying I 'gave' myself some items - clothes, food etc - just to tide myself over for the duration I was on. The other players on the server saw what I was doing and were instantly on the defensive, stating stuff like "admin power abuse' etc. when I had absolutely no intention of bothering them, I just wanted to check things out as an owner/admin and I used the tools available to me to do that. Admin are just not trusted!

Ah well, I guess that's the sacrifice for running your own server...

The Bolti House - Rules

Server info:

The server has capacity for 100 slots.
The map is currently 4k in size.

There server is wiped every month, including blueprints.

Rules as follows:

1. Raiding should not be possible, I have a plugin that supposedly prevents this... hopefully it works! No-one in the Rust community likes raiding, despite Facepunch's best efforts to promote such toxic behaviour.

2. PVE is encouraged although PVP is allowed, after all Rust's underlying theme is one of desparate survival against impossible odds.

3. It is each player's responsibility to make their base as secure as possible to make any opportunist raiders' attempts as difficult as possible. So even though it's not possible for a potential raider to bash through your walls (see Rule 1.), it's NOT my fault if you forget to lock your doors!

4. Please use English in chat, this is a UK-based server.

5. Keep your language clean and respectful, any racist comments, cyberbullying or any threatening behaviour will result in an immediate kick and ban.

I don't play on this server much myself as I think it's important to allow players their freedom and not have them think they're constantly under the gaze of an admin that is in-game. Equally I believe that players should feel safe in the knowledge that a server admin isn't far away so I do monitor the server as much as I can.

Have Fun!

A Historical Boozer

When I worked in Birmingham's Jewellery Quarter as a graphic designer through the Nineties, I spent a great deal of time in a pub called The Bown Lion.

We used to go there every Friday lunchtime and, most often than not, never made it back to work... or, occasionally, got back to work but we were too bloody drunk to be of any use. If we went back to work we'd still end up going back at 5pm then pub crawl our way to the train station. Ahh, good times, we'd have their uniquely strangely fish-flavour burgers and chips washed down with cold bottles of Budweiser Ice, then as the afternoon wore on switching to Bottles of Special Brew... well, at least I switched to the Special Brew, my colleagues tended to do K Cider.

I'm pretty sure that stunted by career development and, with a better 'go to' attitude could have a stellar career instead of pissing it up the wall. However, that said, I had so much fun back then that if I had the chance to 're-do' the early years of my career, I'd do it again!!

This morning I had a nostalgic trip around the Jewellery Quarter and took this picture of one of my favourite watering holes!

The Brown Lion, a real ale pub in the

 Jewellery Quarter, I had some great times there

On a side note, if anyone playing Pokemon GO is interested in catching Drowzees, go to St Paul's Square, it's fucking infested with them!

A New Record

I suddenly realised today (whilst out for a walk in the sun) that I may have reached a new personal best for the length of time I've owned a pair of sunglasses... in the past I've either broken or lost them, usually whilst drunk.

I've owned my current pair for a year and a half, I know this because I bought them whilst on holiday at Centre Parc, bloody expensive they were too.

Well done me.

Pokemons in my Pub!

Caught these two little buggers whilst out one night last week...

Tried to steal my pint!

...and an Eevee, serving behind the bar!

Naturally I caught them both, loads kept popping up because someone baited a nearby Pokestop... hmm I wonder who that was?!

It's funny how these things work out...

Tonight I watched three DVD's...

The first one was They Live, starring Roddy Piper and Keith David... the second one was Pitch Black, starring Vin Diesel and Rhada Mitchell... and Keith David. The third one was Man on Fire, starring Denzel Washington and... Rhada Mitchell!

So three films, with each following film containing a secondary billing actor from the previous film!!

Film 1. Keith David -> Film 2. Keith David, Rhada Mitchell -> Film 3. Rhada Mitchell

I swear I never set out to do that, I just picked three DVD's from my collection (TV tonight was crap) that I hadn't seen for a while and watched them in a random order, it really is strange how these things work out.

Kevin Bacon, go fuck yourself with your six degrees of separation.

It's official, car parks are INFESTED with Pokemons!

Yep, during my Pokemon-catching travels I can confirm that for some bizarre reason, whenever you walk through a car park, you are SURROUNDED by wild Pokemons!

When I got out of my car last Friday evening to do some shopping at my local Tesco I had four around me, including this guy:

A Drowzee... and like other Pokemon, seems
to have a passion for car parks!

Also happened to me this morning as I walked through my local Park's car park, it's like they have a fetish for all those cars and white lines!

Pokemon Go

Been playing it since it came out here in the UK... absolutely loving it!

I spent 2 hours early Saturday morning Pokemon hunting and I mean, we're talking 12km walking. I got a fair few Pokemons plus a few 'undiscovered' so I thought it was a good day... i.e. I got plenty of exercise!

Went to a party later on in the evening, didn't really play it then however whilst mingling at this party I overheard a couple talking about 'catching Squirtle', I couldn't help myself and mentioned to them, in passing, that I'm a fan of the game... I got such a disgusting look from both of them that I thought I'd best move along and head back to the bar!

Shit man, if gaming has gotten to that stage of social interaction I wonder what the hell the future has for humantity.

Edit: Actually, from what I remember of that evening (and I HAD been drinking all day) possibly my statement to that couple that the general vicinity around us had 'fuck all decent Pokemons' probably earned that disgusted look. Yes I had checked earlier whilst waiting to be served at the bar.

Star Trek: Enterprise

Why is it that whenever I hear the theme tune to Star Trek: Enterprise I want to raise my arms above my head and wave them sideways, like people do at concerts... usually with a lit lighter in one of their hands?

True Geekdom

Last night I was happily watching a Star Trek Voyager episode (Scorpion: Part 1, one of my favourites, Netflix now has the entire series, yay!)

Whilst watching I thought I'd open an app on my smartphone that enables me to remotely check one of the large format printers I use at work as it was still printing a big job when I'd left earlier. Much to my dismay it indicated an error: 'Substrate Jam'.

"Bugger," I thought, "the printhead may be out of it's capping station and jammed against the media." It was late but I feared I'd have a sleepless night knowing that those printheads would be drying-up, becoming clogged and possibly unrecoverable.

"What would Captain Janeway do?" I thought. No, scratch that... I didn't think that at all. I jumped in my car and headed back to work. When I got there I found that the printer's printhead was back in it's capping station and that the error was down to running out of media. So no worries there...

I locked-up and headed home, via the motorway as I felt like the need for speed! Whilst on the motorway I passed a Royal Mail lorry, which reminded me that I'd been waiting for a replacement part to mend my toilet and it's delivery had been delayed by them for whatever retarded reason. "WHERE"S MY FUCKING TOILET PART YOU BASTARD!" I yelled as I passed... I'd had a stressful day and needed to get that out. Anyway I got home (albeit late), went to bed, got out my Kindle Fire tablet and spent half-an-hour lurking on 4Chan's /b/ image board. If I'd had a hot pocket and a glass of Gatoraid my geekness would have gone through the roof...

Start Trek, an app that remotely monitors printers, parts to repair a toilet and 4Chan... so goes my life.

Codehatch... you suck!

I run my own Reign of Kings server... have done since since the start of the year and everytime they bring out a patch they fuck the game up!

This time it's version R8, according the tech support I run my server with R8 has broken standalone RoK servers and now we're entirely at the mercy of the Codehatch devs waiting for them to issue a fix.

Nice work Codehatch, I'd compare you to the England footy squad but I think that would be just too cruel.

I'll settle for just calling you all shit instead.

Abstract Art #17

Latest in the series... called "Tiling for n00bs":

I made this one with pastel colours to try and cheer myself up.

England's New Manager

This is what our much vaunted FA (lol) will do...

They will extract their collective heads from the sand just long enough to choose a second-rate shit-tier English manager.

Then bury them again.

Pathetic Bunch of Losers!

England 1 - 2 Iceland - that is a result that will go down in the annals of sporting history so that generations from now will look back at it, shudder and not want to think what it must have been like to witness that match and live through the aftermath (if you're English that is)...

I have never felt so embarrassed to be English right now... and I AM living through it...

we have been humiliated financially, politically and now, sportingly.

Firstly, before I continue with this rant, I want to congratulate Iceland for a well deserved victory, we must not take anything away from such an awe inspiring achievement.

Now back to that bunch of pathetic sad sacks we call professional footballers... I love football, I'm English and it is in my blood, I played it when I was younger and have supported ever since I could walk. So it's really no surprise that I am well and thoroughly pissed off with what happened last night. I mean, what the hell happened? Did they all have visions of the beach where they'll be spending their Summer holidays? It really seems to me that they simply didn't want to play that game despite the fact that they had the famous Three Lions on their shirts.

This is the problem that we have - it's not the manager, it's the players... and they are a victim of an ever increasingly greedy Premier League. They get paid more and more each season, they are mollycoddled in that everything is done for them off the pitch and, more often than not, they get benched by better foreign talent, yet they still get paid £50,000+ a week! I defy anyone to not get a sense of CBA's when that much money is coming in, it simply doesn't give you the drive to achieve... if I won the lottery I doubt I'd be motivated enough to keep doing my job and I feel this is the same for our players.

Okay you would argue that the Italian players are paid just as much but herein lies the other problem - we are seriously lacking a sense of national pride anymore. We're always complaining: "Shit weather...", "Crap public transport...", "Stupid politicians..." etc. it's in our national DNA to deride our country and I think that, coupled with a stupidly high salary, makes our players think that national team duty is more of a chore than an honour. The Icelandic team played as a team with their heart on their sleeves, so did the Italian team when they beat Spain in the earlier match. Our lot played like 11 individuals who just happened to be on the same pitch wearing the same strip which made them think "Oh, maybe I should be passing the ball to these people?"

Hodgson has gone so the FA are now looking for a new manager, they need to find one that's tactically astute and can kick these players in the arses and get them motivated. Club before Country? Fuck that...

Brexit

Well, Europe's reeling from our decision, tons of mud being slung about, full of accusations and threats... boy I'd hate to be the person doing this right now:

OS9? Why yes I do believe the EU probably uses it.

I am so hungover... the beer drinking has to continue, whether we're in the EU or not.

Shit...

Pub with a disco... bugger, I'm stuck against a wall... and no dancing ...

Heart Beat!

This is my heart rate when England play:

A Parenting Classic!

I was in Tesco the other day doing my weekly shop and I overheard a mother saying to her child:

"I'm not buying toilet paper just because it has a picture of a dog on it!"

Absolute classic, I salute her!

Glastonbury Festival

Ahh the annual human petri dish that is the Glastonbury Festival takes place this weekend... thousands of people will get together in an alcohol, drugs and disease-ridden mud bath to be entertained by Worthy Farm's best efforts at getting the latest and greatest onto their stages.

I won't be going... in fact I'd rather take a cheese grater to my nut sack than go to that shit hole.

I'm convinced that Glastonbury contributes greatly to the spread of the new common cold strains (and other viruses) across the country. Imagine it - thousands of sweaty heaving masses all in very close proximity, their disease resistance lowered by alcohol and/or drug abuse and a poor food diet making them susceptible to all kinds of bugs. These, of course incubate, mutate into new strains and, 48 hours later, when the Festival is over all these people are spread across the four corners of the UK (and beyond) where they are ripe to pass on what they've caught... and voila! A whole new round of colds/flu for the Autumn/Winter season, all over the country.

I realise that Glastonbury is an important cultural event for many people, even if it only means getting shit faced, never leaving your tent and never seeing any live acts it is an important event for people to look forward to and I accept that but it's definitely NOT my cup of tea. Unless I rocked up there in full NBC gear... shit, it makes me shudder just looking at those people wading through the mud even from the comfort of my own home!

Of course I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't mention that I went to Rewind last year which is sort of a 'mini' Glastonbury but I have to point out that Rewind, to me, is way posher and has fewer people. So there.

Abstract Art #16

Another submission, called 'CGA Sunrise"... bit of an optical illusion this one.

Abstract Art #15

My latest submission... called 'Hell's Own Honeycomb"

Fallout Shelter

Here's my guide for building and running a shelter full of happy dwellers :)

I prefer having one elevator, dwellers can get around more quickly

1. Start your vault, build all the necessary starter rooms the tutorial will get you to do (Power, Water, Cafeteria, Bunk Room, Store Room etc.) and assign your dwellers to them, don't worry too much about who goes where for now.

2. Now, over a period of a couple of days do this: open Fallout Shelter, collect the resources then quit out, never stay in the game long enough for Raiders to turn up. Remember that you actually have to force quite game, in IOS double-tap the home button then swipe the Fallout Shelter upwards to properly close it down... 'Droid users - refer to your documentation on how to do this.

3. When you've got enough Bottlecaps collected, slowly, bit-by-bit, add resource rooms based on resource demand, try to keep an even balance but ALWAYS make sure you have enough power, otherwise rooms will start to shut down.

4. When you have reached the required population numbers, build an infirmary and assign a dweller to start making Stimpaks. When you have collected 15 Stimpaks AND have a nice collection of Bottlecaps in the bank give a dweller 2-3 Stimpaks and send him/her out into the wilderness, leave them for about 2-3 hours but keep checking periodically to see if him/her is still alive... have them return when they've collected 4-5 items of loot (having sufficient Bottlecaps is to pay to get them revived if they die). Remember to keep quitting the game to prevent Raider attacks. Rinse and repeat this over a few days and you should have a nice collection of weapons and outfits. Also build a Chem Lab once you've unlocked it and add RadAways to your dweller's wasteland loadout.

5. Start equipping your dwellers with guns and outfits, this is important, NEVER leave your dwellers unequipped, they simply cannot handle Radroach and Mole Rat infestations with their fists!

6. Assign female dwellers to all your living quarters and start sending processions of male dwellers to them, you'll be increasing your population in no time. Also, when you have them spare, assign two dwellers to the vault entrance, make sure they are equipped with decent guns.

7. I'm going to repeat this here again, make sure that you're quitting the game as soon as you're done your collecting/dweller room assignments/checking dwellers in the wasteland etc, don't forget to check your inventory and junk/sell outfits and weapons as you see fit, keep any junk collected for now. Raider attacks can seriously hamper your progress, this is why I'm banging on about making sure the game is closed down properly. Don't worry, resources will still be generated and will be waiting ready for collection next time you load the game.

8. At this stage you should have two well equipped dwellers guarding the door and every dweller on that floor equipped with pistols. If Raiders attack whilst you've got the game open, the two dwellers guarding the door will 'thin' them out before they head to the next room and any dwellers from there on will finish them off. Raiders rarely (in my experience) head downwards, they always seem to concentrate on attacking the top floor rooms. This doesn't mean you should leave your dwellers on lower level unequipped, ultimately you need to have ALL your dwellers appropriately equipped, just prioritise from the top down. As you gain more powerful weapons, assign them that way. In my vault every dweller has a weapon that has 5 or more hit points.

9. Once you've unlocked the weapons room, build it and assign a dweller, now you can use all that junk you collected, start making shotguns and assign them appropriately (top floor downwards). With every dweller packing heat, Radroaches and Mole Rats won't stand a chance.

10. As your population increases, more room types are unlocked, including training rooms. Build one of each of these - Weight Room for Strength (Power Room), Athletics Room for Agility (Cafeteria) and Armoury for Perception (Water Processing). Start rotating your dwellers through each of them based on what room that dweller came from (i.e. send a dweller from a Power Room to the Weight Room). As they level up their appropriate SPECIAL stat send them back to the room they came from, eventually you'll have rooms full of the right qualified dwellers and the resources will come flowing in in large quantities.

11. When you're happy that your resource rooms are full of properly qualified dwellers and you have the spare capacity, start to rotate your dwellers through the other training rooms, this is important because you may need to substitute dwellers and you'll want the sub to be nearly as good as the one that's being subbed. By now you should be confident enough to leave the game open longer and shouldn't be worried about raids (assuming your sentries are there, well equipped etc.)

12. Ultimately, at this stage, your vault should be self sustaining and you shouldn't be getting any resource shortages. It's all about balance and matching dwellers with the right SPECIAL stats to the right rooms. Have fun, try different things... but keep your dwellers in the right rooms and make sure you have an even balance of resource production

Things to note:

It's best to have large rooms on your ground floor, that way, Raiders/Deathclaws will be mobbed by gangs of Dwellers and subsequently killed more quickly.

Raiders level with your vault population, so at higher numbers they will attack with bigger, better weapons. Make sure your first floor dwellers are equipped appropriately, they are of a high level and that their Strength SPECIAL stat is as high as possible.

At 60+ dwellers Deathclaws start attacking so you'll really need to make sure your dwellers have high level weapons. Get your weapons room upgraded so you can manufacture rare weapons, you'll need to save up for it though as it costs 8000 Bottlecaps! Keep sending dwellers out to find rare weapon recipes.

Don't bother wasting Bottlecaps on upgrading your vault door in the early stages of building your vault. The Raiders will still get in even when the door is upgraded to it's maximum level, they just take a little longer to get in. If you've got well equipped guards and dwellers on the first floor the raiders will be easily dealt with.

I tend to use my two sentries for wasteland sorties, I send one out at a time, that way, if there is a Raider attack there's still one left to deal with them. It's also easer to 'drag' them out past the door, rather than having to scroll around the vault whilst potentially accidentally 'dragging' dwellers out of rooms.

Training dwellers is a great way to earn Bottlecaps as they are generated every time the dweller increases their SPECIAL stat.

The longer you leave a dweller out in the wasteland, the greater chance he/she will discover rare recipes, so make sure they're stocked up well on Stimpacks and RadAways.

A Dweller with maximum SPECIAL stats survives longer in the wasteland and has a better chance of finding rare and legendary loot. I've got one Dweller called Harold, he is level 50, has 7-8 on almost all his stats. I give hime 15 Stimpaks and Radaways and can confidently leave him out in the wasteland for 24+ hours, during that time he will find rare stuff AND still have 8 or 9 Stimpaks left!

Raider attacks can be useful as Raiders will drop loot when they are killed, occasionally that loot will be weapon or outfit recipes. Even if loot isn't dropped a dead Raider will generate Bottlecaps.

Hopefully you'll find this useful, it's not the 'ultimate' guide and, to be honest, my method does require a shit ton of patience! But, hang in there and you'll have a happy, well populated vault :)

Brexit

It's about time I added my ha'penny's worth to the debate...

I've spent the past 6 months weighing up my vote choice by reading articles, watching the news, speaking with family, friends and work colleagues and I have now decided.

This article was the final straw that firmed up my decision - George Osborne threatening us with an 'emergency' budget full of tax rises if we vote to leave the European Union. It's because of this, amongst a long long list of other dubious claims and outright threats by the pro-EU group that I have decided to vote 'OUT'.

I think it's an utterly despicable piece of politics and reeks of desperation from a Government that clearly have realised that they simply don't know their own people and have negotiated a weak deal with the EU that will not benefit our country whatsoever, hence the these last gap blatant threats.

If we leave Europe we will no longer have to send hundreds of Billions of taxpayers cash to Brussels that we never see again, surely that money gets spent here instead? So why threaten to raise taxes?

I am sick and tired of the Pro-EU group telling us 'it's really bad' to leave the EU. It's all 'bad', 'bad', 'bad'... why not give us some positive reasons? And I'm not just talking about generalised stuff like "Oh, we'll retain 5 million jobs here and there if we stay in..." anyone can spout that shit. Give us some forward thinking, positive reasons instead of threats that constantly force the Pro-Brexit group on the defensive forcing them to 'generalise' their claims too, which isn't helping us.

As much as I admire being part of Europe, I'm a big fan go Germany and it's people for instance, I just don't think our membership in the EU is a benefit anymore.

Euro 2016 - 2

Well, shit... we drew.

Last minute goal by Russia.

ffs

Pretty-much all I can say right now.

Euro 2016 - 1

Okay so I'm stood in a pub waiting for the England v Russia game... and I have to say that the turnout is pretty shite. Ten years ago this same pub would have been packed full, shoulder-to-shoulder for an international football finals featuring England.

I guess the national expectations have been very well worn out over the past ten years...

Abstract Art #14

This is my latest abstract art submission...

I'm calling it 'Pathfinder'.

#LoveHelloGames

I'm showing my support for Hello Games after their founder Sean Murray received death threats after he announced the delay of the launch of No Man's Sky (hence the hashtag in the title).

Those asswipes who sent said death threats need to get a fucking life or at the very least an attitude readjustment. It happens in game development, a lot... modern computer games are huge, complex almost living, breathing things, and they go wrong during development. It's not unusual for the devs to need more time to fix them... and in No Man's Sky's case what's wrong with a little extra time to polish what's already a stellar looking game?!

I for one plan to use this very blog as a diary of my exploits/travels in No Man's Sky which I hope others will find useful.

I can't wait for it to come out but I'm patient enough to wait, unlike some idiots.

To Sean Murray and your team - take all the time you need guys (and possibly gals), don't sweat it, all us genuine gamers are happy for you to do what you can to get the game right.

IP Top kek

I've heard it all now:

"He needs a new keyboard because he got steak and kidney pie all over it...?"

Chip Shops

Why is it that there is also some fucktard who doesn't follow queue etiquette in Chip Shops? He/she always stands 'away' from the side of counter confusing anyone who's just walked in because they don't know where the queue is supposed to start... it looks messy too, fucking annoys me.

When you queue in the Chip Shop you stand next to the window counter so you can peruse what's cooked and available for order, you don't stand in the middle of the shop looking confused. Then, when standing at the counter (offset from where the till is), others will form an orderly queue behind you. This is an age old Chip Shop tradition and it really works.

Ahh that's better :)

Got my watch back from the jewellers (had to go away to have a new battery fitted) and a also had brand new Passport arrive this week... couple those with a new washing machine fitted successfully the week before and I feel like a few pieces have been put back into the jigsaw that is my life :)

Oh and I'm about to hit lvl 50 in Elder Scrolls Online too... more of that to come.

Photography #101

My daily commute to work takes me through my local park... in this park is a lake which has two Swans - male and female, they own this lake, literally.

Recently they had babies, or more accurately Signets :) I took the opportunity to take some pics, here's one of them:

All together - aaaawwww!

Photography #101

Whilst walking through my local park I saw this:

A Mandarin...

Of all the common, plain looking ducks that waddle about that park, this one really stood out, he's a Mandarin Duck, according to my research... they're common in the south and parts of the Midlands but VERY rare in my park!! I consider it a photographic win :)

Cookie tracking needs a 'FUCK OFF' button

I hate the way websites tailer the ads that are displayed based on your browsing habits... all I see are ads for washing machines at the moment however I've already bought one.

I just wish there was a button or something you could press to tell them that, rather than having to delve into the web browser/finder/windows explorer settings and delete them.

It would be much more satisfying to be able to hurl some Youtube-style abuse back at them via a single button that says something like "I've already bought a washing machine, I don't need a second one, now FUCK OFF!"

A new pudding :)

I have discovered a new pudding...

I was stuck for something to have for pudding after my evening meal as I had scoffed both the cream slices my mum had given me last Sunday (yes I'm a greedy git).

I knew I had some McVities choc-chip biscuits, I also knew I had some peanut butter... and voila!

Om nom nom!!

Fer Feck's Sake!

I'm stood here at John Lewis engaged in small talk with a junior sales assistant whilst waiting for a senior salesperson to process my order. I'm waiting because some asshat customer is asking loads questions and tying up said senior salesperson... grrr

It took me 5 minutes with the junior sales rep to decide on what model of washing machine I wanted and 2 minutes for the senior salesperson to do my order and for me to pay for it.

If I could have back the time wasted waiting for undecisive dickheads I'd be 10 years younger.

Overhaul of the BBC

Auntie Beeb is having a much needed overhaul... but one proposal caught my attention:

• Government introducing new requirement to provide 'distinctive content' rather than just chase ratings.
• The BBC is to be regulated by an external organisation for the first time in its 90-year history.  Ofcom will become the official regulator of the BBC, replacing the internal BBC Trust.
• The licence fee will increase in line with inflation for five years, meaning the current annual fee of £145.50 will rise from 2017 until 2022.
• Over-75s, who currently get free TV licence, will be allowed to pay voluntarily
• The 'iPlayer loophole' will be closed by forcing anyone viewing BBC TV via the web to own a licence. 
• The BBC charter will be extended to 11 years so that it is independent of any political cycle, and there will be a mid-term 'health check' to ensure things are functioning as they should be. 
• Government introducing new requirement to provide 'distinctive content' rather than just chase ratings; 

A 75-year old: "Yes, I think I'll pay the TV Licence Fee..." SAID NO-ONE EVER!!

...and finally I can give my liver a rest...

As the title says, with the Rugby season drawing to a close and it being a successful one for Wasps... I  can finally spend some weekends sans alcohol!

Also means fewer inane drunken posts (like below) that make no sense whatsoever.

And more Bollocks

I........

....and that, is how it begins..,..

EPIC/FAIL AGAiN WYFBBQ....

Ahhhh shit, tons of idiots around me and I'm inebriated, yes inebriated... in other words, drunk... the train is imminent and I, do not, give a shit... love you France :)

Photography #101

I haven't done much photography for a while but as we all know amateur photography is all about being in the right place at the right time...

A Goldfinch... apparently

Game of Thrones S6 EP1 /FAIL!

Accessed my Sky HD box to start the first recording of season 6 this evening only to discover that the word 'FAIL' listed next to the recording. Fucking Sky and their piece-of-shit hardware.

Game of Thrones is the ONLY reason I don't fuck my Sky subscription off and as soon as it's finished I will anyway, I'm fed-up with Sky and their overly expensive shit.

Not only have they dumped their overspending in Football coverage onto us poor peon subscribers by increasing the monthly subscription, again. They have also, in my opinion, increased the amount of bloody annoying ad-breaks, it's a total fucking joke.

I'd rather spend the £100-odd quid a month they're fleecing me with down the pub.

I'm now downloaded S6 EP1 via On Demand, I'm only watching it tonight in case I find myself reading some retard journalist's 'review' of it which will probably contain an ass-load of spoilers. I've already seen two articles picked out by Google in their News section that threatened to reveal spoilers.

Grr I'm angry tonight.

BHS Into Administration

Details here

Nooo! BHS is the only place I can get a decent 'normal' pair of jeans. All other clothes shops sell stupid expensive poncy types such as ripped, overly stonewashed, covered in weird flaps, or oversized so much that they put my ass-crack on show!

FU Instagram

Well we're back from Worcester, Wasps won convincingly :)

After a looong train journey and loads of beers later we are in our local Walkabout Pub where my brother has just grandly /ragequit Instagram... put simply (by him) it's shit!

Worcester Warriors v Wasps

I'm off to Worcester today to see this game... a win will give Wasps significant progress in cementing their position in the top 4.

Worcester won't be a pushover though, they almost scraped a win back at the Ricoh earlier on in the year.

I've never been to Worcester before, I wonder if the stadium will promote Worcester sauce on their pies?

I think plenty of ale will be consumed despite my reluctance to do so as I had a heavy one last weekend but Rugby + no driving + Saturday + Good company = alcoholic carnage!

Ducks

Ducks crack me up... they always seem to me be in a constant state of utter confusion as to where they are at any moment in time.

I often see them, usually in groups of 2 to 4, waddling around on roundabouts, in car parks, next to puddles in waterlogged areas of grass and all the time looking, utterly confused!

Don't get me wrong, I see plenty if them where they're supposed to be, like in rivers and lakes but, occasionally, some of them seem to have this 'senior moment' where they just get lost!

Ducks, ya just gotta love 'em!!

Email Read Receipts

These absolutely fucking annoy me... I'll read your message in my own goddam time you fucking control freak! Imagine I pressed 'Yes', then I'd be under pressure to respond in a timely manner, making that one e-mail the sole focus out of a potentially busy working day and that's damned annoying, especially if it's from a cold-call(e-mail?) salesperson where they think I've got all the time in the world to deliberate over their fucking digital print media portfolios.

"Ooh I'll just click that 'Yes' button right there!"... said no-one ever.

Gianni Infantino doesn't look 'real'

It is just me or does he look like something that come out of a Taiwanese toy factory?

Or is he is actually a member of the Founders?

Pub Crawling Again... #2

Okay next pub, and if anyone has been reading... well, fuck it, you don't know what pub this is... suffice to say it's a place that serves alcohol and that's that.

So fuck off.

Pub Crawling... again

Ah well, here I am in a pub again, on my own, again...

But, what the hell, lets report it, again.

A Brief Blogoshpere Interlude...

I haven't posted for a while due to shear lack of inspiration...

Recently I've been playing with Strata 3d, I used to use earlier versions a lot but circumstances prevented me from keeping current with it. However recently my work required me to revisit it in order to do some 3D, plus Photoshop CC's 3D features are pretty limited.

Here's something I knocked up whilst messing around...

RIP Fawlty Towers

I've just read a report that the Torquay hotel (called the Gleneagles Hotel) that gave John Cleese the inspiration to create the series Fawlty Towers is to be demolished in order to make way for a retirement home.

Whilst I recognise the need for us to house our old and infirm in comfortable surroundings... it does sound a bit much that the firm that bought the place - Churchill Retirement Living - simply announced the date when the bulldozers would be moving in without so much as a mention to the cultural significance of the area.

Probably the people that run Churchill Retirement Living watch pap like Big Brother or some other shite reality TV series and have never even heard of Fawlty Towers.

Would be funny if someone was to run up to one of their JCB's and start whipping it with a tree branch.

Another Day of Rugby Watching #2

Okay, back home and in a local pub, thanks to a train and a couple of taxi rides, we could have avoided at least one of those taxis but we misjudged the train times...

Ah whatever, I'm back in a pub, half-pissed and happy with the days' Rugby results.

Another Day of Rugby Watching

Phew! Two victories - Wasps beat Leicester and England beat Wales... and I managed to stay alcohol free!

Well, up to a certain point anyway, I needed a few to calm the nerves during the Egland v Wales game!

Anyway, we're now having a few victory lagers in the Jag Hall whilst we wait for the train home... no doubts we'll all be thoroughly arseholed by the time we leave here... more reports to folllow :)

DayZ

This is my experience of this game - after hours running around slowly dying of hunger, thirst and cold you find a tin of tactical bacon and a jumper.

Not my interpretation of gripping gaming...

Parliament and so much RAGE!

I was reading about the latest exchanges between our David Cameron and Jeremy Corbyn today and came across this picture of Dominic Raab in the article:

Boy, he looks pissed, he's showing muchos rage... I guess the Brexit debate has everyone looking a bit angry.

Couldn't help myself really...

Worth Waiting For...

When I'm really thirsty and I'm about to destroy a nice cold drink in front of me, this scene always plays out in my mind when I'm drinking it:




What can I say... I have a vivid imagination!

SEO - Utter Bollocks

You know, I have spent most of the day doing backend SEO to our works' website and I feel like I have achieved nothing towards getting our site further up in Google's 'esteemed' search results.

Do large organisations like HP or Amazon spend time doing what I've just done?

Do they bollocks... they have better thinks to do, instead they pay Google a generous stipend to have their site hard-coded to be ranked no.1 in the search results.

What's even more annoying is Google telling me that some of my pages are 'not mobile device friendly' even though I have tested them on actual mobile devices and they work fine! God knows what the peons at the Google Chocolate Factory Central have for an idea of what's viewable on a mobile device... I've even tested the pages on a third-party site and it showed they worked fine.

So all the crap you have to read through in Analytics and Webmaster Tools to get your site optimised for the Google spider means utterly nothing and won't help you get your page ranked... it's all about the moolah and how much you're prepared to throw at Google, otherwise it's second, third... or the twentieth page for your site!

So what I'm doing is irrelevant. Yet I toil on in the vain hope that what I've done will make some difference and, when asked, I can honestly say that I've done everything possible to get us up the organic rankings.