Wednesday 29 June 2016

Abstract Art #17

Latest in the series... called "Tiling for n00bs":


I made this one with pastel colours to try and cheer myself up.

England's New Manager

This is what our much vaunted FA (lol) will do...

They will extract their collective heads from the sand just long enough to choose a second-rate shit-tier English manager.

Then bury them again.

Tuesday 28 June 2016

Pathetic Bunch of Losers!

England 1 - 2 Iceland - that is a result that will go down in the annals of sporting history so that generations from now will look back at it, shudder and not want to think what it must have been like to witness that match and live through the aftermath (if you're English that is)...

I have never felt so embarrassed to be English right now... and I AM living through it...

we have been humiliated financially, politically and now, sportingly.

Firstly, before I continue with this rant, I want to congratulate Iceland for a well deserved victory, we must not take anything away from such an awe inspiring achievement.

Now back to that bunch of pathetic sad sacks we call professional footballers... I love football, I'm English and it is in my blood, I played it when I was younger and have supported ever since I could walk. So it's really no surprise that I am well and thoroughly pissed off with what happened last night. I mean, what the hell happened? Did they all have visions of the beach where they'll be spending their Summer holidays? It really seems to me that they simply didn't want to play that game despite the fact that they had the famous Three Lions on their shirts.

This is the problem that we have - it's not the manager, it's the players... and they are a victim of an ever increasingly greedy Premier League. They get paid more and more each season, they are mollycoddled in that everything is done for them off the pitch and, more often than not, they get benched by better foreign talent, yet they still get paid £50,000+ a week! I defy anyone to not get a sense of CBA's when that much money is coming in, it simply doesn't give you the drive to achieve... if I won the lottery I doubt I'd be motivated enough to keep doing my job and I feel this is the same for our players.

Okay you would argue that the Italian players are paid just as much but herein lies the other problem - we are seriously lacking a sense of national pride anymore. We're always complaining: "Shit weather...", "Crap public transport...", "Stupid politicians..." etc. it's in our national DNA to deride our country and I think that, coupled with a stupidly high salary, makes our players think that national team duty is more of a chore than an honour. The Icelandic team played as a team with their heart on their sleeves, so did the Italian team when they beat Spain in the earlier match. Our lot played like 11 individuals who just happened to be on the same pitch wearing the same strip which made them think "Oh, maybe I should be passing the ball to these people?"

Hodgson has gone so the FA are now looking for a new manager, they need to find one that's tactically astute and can kick these players in the arses and get them motivated. Club before Country? Fuck that...

Sunday 26 June 2016

Brexit

Well, Europe's reeling from our decision, tons of mud being slung about, full of accusations and threats... boy I'd hate to be the person doing this right now:

OS9? Why yes I do believe the EU probably uses it.



I am so hungover... the beer drinking has to continue, whether we're in the EU or not.

Saturday 25 June 2016

Shit...

Pub with a disco... bugger, I'm stuck against a wall... and no dancing ...

Heart Beat!

This is my heart rate when England play:


Thursday 23 June 2016

A Parenting Classic!

I was in Tesco the other day doing my weekly shop and I overheard a mother saying to her child:

"I'm not buying toilet paper just because it has a picture of a dog on it!"

Absolute classic, I salute her!

Wednesday 22 June 2016

Glastonbury Festival

Ahh the annual human petri dish that is the Glastonbury Festival takes place this weekend... thousands of people will get together in an alcohol, drugs and disease-ridden mud bath to be entertained by Worthy Farm's best efforts at getting the latest and greatest onto their stages.

I won't be going... in fact I'd rather take a cheese grater to my nut sack than go to that shit hole.

I'm convinced that Glastonbury contributes greatly to the spread of the new common cold strains (and other viruses) across the country. Imagine it - thousands of sweaty heaving masses all in very close proximity, their disease resistance lowered by alcohol and/or drug abuse and a poor food diet making them susceptible to all kinds of bugs. These, of course incubate, mutate into new strains and, 48 hours later, when the Festival is over all these people are spread across the four corners of the UK (and beyond) where they are ripe to pass on what they've caught... and voila! A whole new round of colds/flu for the Autumn/Winter season, all over the country.

I realise that Glastonbury is an important cultural event for many people, even if it only means getting shit faced, never leaving your tent and never seeing any live acts it is an important event for people to look forward to and I accept that but it's definitely NOT my cup of tea. Unless I rocked up there in full NBC gear... shit, it makes me shudder just looking at those people wading through the mud even from the comfort of my own home!

Of course I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't mention that I went to Rewind last year which is sort of a 'mini' Glastonbury but I have to point out that Rewind, to me, is way posher and has fewer people. So there.

Sunday 19 June 2016

Abstract Art #16

Another submission, called 'CGA Sunrise"... bit of an optical illusion this one.


Saturday 18 June 2016

Abstract Art #15

My latest submission... called 'Hell's Own Honeycomb"


Friday 17 June 2016

Fallout Shelter

Here's my guide for building and running a shelter full of happy dwellers :)


I prefer having one elevator, dwellers can get around more quickly

1. Start your vault, build all the necessary starter rooms the tutorial will get you to do (Power, Water, Cafeteria, Bunk Room, Store Room etc.) and assign your dwellers to them, don't worry too much about who goes where for now.

2. Now, over a period of a couple of days do this: open Fallout Shelter, collect the resources then quit out, never stay in the game long enough for Raiders to turn up. Remember that you actually have to force quite game, in IOS double-tap the home button then swipe the Fallout Shelter upwards to properly close it down... 'Droid users - refer to your documentation on how to do this.

3. When you've got enough Bottlecaps collected, slowly, bit-by-bit, add resource rooms based on resource demand, try to keep an even balance but ALWAYS make sure you have enough power, otherwise rooms will start to shut down.

4. When you have reached the required population numbers, build an infirmary and assign a dweller to start making Stimpaks. When you have collected 15 Stimpaks AND have a nice collection of Bottlecaps in the bank give a dweller 2-3 Stimpaks and send him/her out into the wilderness, leave them for about 2-3 hours but keep checking periodically to see if him/her is still alive... have them return when they've collected 4-5 items of loot (having sufficient Bottlecaps is to pay to get them revived if they die). Remember to keep quitting the game to prevent Raider attacks. Rinse and repeat this over a few days and you should have a nice collection of weapons and outfits. Also build a Chem Lab once you've unlocked it and add RadAways to your dweller's wasteland loadout.

5. Start equipping your dwellers with guns and outfits, this is important, NEVER leave your dwellers unequipped, they simply cannot handle Radroach and Mole Rat infestations with their fists!

6. Assign female dwellers to all your living quarters and start sending processions of male dwellers to them, you'll be increasing your population in no time. Also, when you have them spare, assign two dwellers to the vault entrance, make sure they are equipped with decent guns.

7. I'm going to repeat this here again, make sure that you're quitting the game as soon as you're done your collecting/dweller room assignments/checking dwellers in the wasteland etc, don't forget to check your inventory and junk/sell outfits and weapons as you see fit, keep any junk collected for now. Raider attacks can seriously hamper your progress, this is why I'm banging on about making sure the game is closed down properly. Don't worry, resources will still be generated and will be waiting ready for collection next time you load the game.

8. At this stage you should have two well equipped dwellers guarding the door and every dweller on that floor equipped with pistols. If Raiders attack whilst you've got the game open, the two dwellers guarding the door will 'thin' them out before they head to the next room and any dwellers from there on will finish them off. Raiders rarely (in my experience) head downwards, they always seem to concentrate on attacking the top floor rooms. This doesn't mean you should leave your dwellers on lower level unequipped, ultimately you need to have ALL your dwellers appropriately equipped, just prioritise from the top down. As you gain more powerful weapons, assign them that way. In my vault every dweller has a weapon that has 5 or more hit points.

9. Once you've unlocked the weapons room, build it and assign a dweller, now you can use all that junk you collected, start making shotguns and assign them appropriately (top floor downwards). With every dweller packing heat, Radroaches and Mole Rats won't stand a chance.

10. As your population increases, more room types are unlocked, including training rooms. Build one of each of these - Weight Room for Strength (Power Room), Athletics Room for Agility (Cafeteria) and Armoury for Perception (Water Processing). Start rotating your dwellers through each of them based on what room that dweller came from (i.e. send a dweller from a Power Room to the Weight Room). As they level up their appropriate SPECIAL stat send them back to the room they came from, eventually you'll have rooms full of the right qualified dwellers and the resources will come flowing in in large quantities.

11. When you're happy that your resource rooms are full of properly qualified dwellers and you have the spare capacity, start to rotate your dwellers through the other training rooms, this is important because you may need to substitute dwellers and you'll want the sub to be nearly as good as the one that's being subbed. By now you should be confident enough to leave the game open longer and shouldn't be worried about raids (assuming your sentries are there, well equipped etc.)

12. Ultimately, at this stage, your vault should be self sustaining and you shouldn't be getting any resource shortages. It's all about balance and matching dwellers with the right SPECIAL stats to the right rooms. Have fun, try different things... but keep your dwellers in the right rooms and make sure you have an even balance of resource production

Things to note:

It's best to have large rooms on your ground floor, that way, Raiders/Deathclaws will be mobbed by gangs of Dwellers and subsequently killed more quickly.

Raiders level with your vault population, so at higher numbers they will attack with bigger, better weapons. Make sure your first floor dwellers are equipped appropriately, they are of a high level and that their Strength SPECIAL stat is as high as possible.

At 60+ dwellers Deathclaws start attacking so you'll really need to make sure your dwellers have high level weapons. Get your weapons room upgraded so you can manufacture rare weapons, you'll need to save up for it though as it costs 8000 Bottlecaps! Keep sending dwellers out to find rare weapon recipes.

Don't bother wasting Bottlecaps on upgrading your vault door in the early stages of building your vault. The Raiders will still get in even when the door is upgraded to it's maximum level, they just take a little longer to get in. If you've got well equipped guards and dwellers on the first floor the raiders will be easily dealt with.

I tend to use my two sentries for wasteland sorties, I send one out at a time, that way, if there is a Raider attack there's still one left to deal with them. It's also easer to 'drag' them out past the door, rather than having to scroll around the vault whilst potentially accidentally 'dragging' dwellers out of rooms.

Training dwellers is a great way to earn Bottlecaps as they are generated every time the dweller increases their SPECIAL stat.

The longer you leave a dweller out in the wasteland, the greater chance he/she will discover rare recipes, so make sure they're stocked up well on Stimpacks and RadAways.

A Dweller with maximum SPECIAL stats survives longer in the wasteland and has a better chance of finding rare and legendary loot. I've got one Dweller called Harold, he is level 50, has 7-8 on almost all his stats. I give hime 15 Stimpaks and Radaways and can confidently leave him out in the wasteland for 24+ hours, during that time he will find rare stuff AND still have 8 or 9 Stimpaks left!

Raider attacks can be useful as Raiders will drop loot when they are killed, occasionally that loot will be weapon or outfit recipes. Even if loot isn't dropped a dead Raider will generate Bottlecaps.

Hopefully you'll find this useful, it's not the 'ultimate' guide and, to be honest, my method does require a shit ton of patience! But, hang in there and you'll have a happy, well populated vault :)




Wednesday 15 June 2016

Brexit

It's about time I added my ha'penny's worth to the debate...

I've spent the past 6 months weighing up my vote choice by reading articles, watching the news, speaking with family, friends and work colleagues and I have now decided.

This article was the final straw that firmed up my decision - George Osborne threatening us with an 'emergency' budget full of tax rises if we vote to leave the European Union. It's because of this, amongst a long long list of other dubious claims and outright threats by the pro-EU group that I have decided to vote 'OUT'.

I think it's an utterly despicable piece of politics and reeks of desperation from a Government that clearly have realised that they simply don't know their own people and have negotiated a weak deal with the EU that will not benefit our country whatsoever, hence the these last gap blatant threats.

If we leave Europe we will no longer have to send hundreds of Billions of taxpayers cash to Brussels that we never see again, surely that money gets spent here instead? So why threaten to raise taxes?

I am sick and tired of the Pro-EU group telling us 'it's really bad' to leave the EU. It's all 'bad', 'bad', 'bad'... why not give us some positive reasons? And I'm not just talking about generalised stuff like "Oh, we'll retain 5 million jobs here and there if we stay in..." anyone can spout that shit. Give us some forward thinking, positive reasons instead of threats that constantly force the Pro-Brexit group on the defensive forcing them to 'generalise' their claims too, which isn't helping us.

As much as I admire being part of Europe, I'm a big fan go Germany and it's people for instance, I just don't think our membership in the EU is a benefit anymore.

Saturday 11 June 2016

Euro 2016 - 2

Well, shit... we drew.

Last minute goal by Russia.

ffs

Pretty-much all I can say right now.

Euro 2016 - 1

Okay so I'm stood in a pub waiting for the England v Russia game... and I have to say that the turnout is pretty shite. Ten years ago this same pub would have been packed full, shoulder-to-shoulder for an international football finals featuring England.

I guess the national expectations have been very well worn out over the past ten years...

Saturday 4 June 2016

Abstract Art #14

This is my latest abstract art submission...

I'm calling it 'Pathfinder'.


#LoveHelloGames

I'm showing my support for Hello Games after their founder Sean Murray received death threats after he announced the delay of the launch of No Man's Sky (hence the hashtag in the title).



Those asswipes who sent said death threats need to get a fucking life or at the very least an attitude readjustment. It happens in game development, a lot... modern computer games are huge, complex almost living, breathing things, and they go wrong during development. It's not unusual for the devs to need more time to fix them... and in No Man's Sky's case what's wrong with a little extra time to polish what's already a stellar looking game?!

I for one plan to use this very blog as a diary of my exploits/travels in No Man's Sky which I hope others will find useful.

I can't wait for it to come out but I'm patient enough to wait, unlike some idiots.

To Sean Murray and your team - take all the time you need guys (and possibly gals), don't sweat it, all us genuine gamers are happy for you to do what you can to get the game right.

Friday 3 June 2016

IP Top kek

I've heard it all now:

"He needs a new keyboard because he got steak and kidney pie all over it...?"

Thursday 2 June 2016

Chip Shops

Why is it that there is also some fucktard who doesn't follow queue etiquette in Chip Shops? He/she always stands 'away' from the side of counter confusing anyone who's just walked in because they don't know where the queue is supposed to start... it looks messy too, fucking annoys me.

When you queue in the Chip Shop you stand next to the window counter so you can peruse what's cooked and available for order, you don't stand in the middle of the shop looking confused. Then, when standing at the counter (offset from where the till is), others will form an orderly queue behind you. This is an age old Chip Shop tradition and it really works.