Friday 4 May 2018

Fucking plumbing

I started the day very early and was practically waddling the last few hundred feet to work because I was dying for a shit (even though I had one at home prior to leaving)... then later on, after work, and having had five pints in said pub, I find myself, again, waddling the last few hundred feet towards the train station, dying for a piss!

In both cases I made it, avoid any embarrasing accidents but fuck me! It’s only a matter of time before old age and weaker plumbing is going to catch up on me!

Wednesday 25 April 2018

GDPR - the new Data Protection Standard Headache

I'm currently reading-up on GDPR and whilst I wholeheartedly agree with it in principle the legalese used in the EU official documentation kind of goes against GDPR's overall principles of 'transparency' and 'clear, concise language' ... below is an excerpt I've singled out for ridicule:

"A group of undertakings should cover a controlling undertaking and its controlled undertakings, whereby the controlling undertaking should be the undertaking which can exert a dominant influence over the other undertakings by virtue, for example, of ownership, financial participation or the rules which govern it or the power to have personal data protection rules implemented. An undertaking which controls the processing of personal data in undertakings affiliated to it should be regarded, together with those undertakings, as a group of undertakings."

Whoever wrote that paragraph was either extremely anal, or they were a group of very pissed-up people (probably MEP-type civil servants) having a laugh.

Friday 20 April 2018

Finally, some sun!

I'm glad that we've got some good weather at last but one thing really bugs me... there's the usual flood of news articles about 'The hottest day so far..." etc. and those articles show loads of people sunbathing on the beaches or out in parks.

My question is where do these people find the time to do that?! I mean, it was a Thursday, not a weekend, do these people have jobs? Did they throw sickies to go to the beach? The pictures showed thousands upon thousands on those beaches, numbers that you'd see for a typical weekend! I don't get that luxury, being stuck in a dead-end 9-5 job with half-an-hour for lunch, stuck in the middle of a dull grey fucking trading estate in the middle of the country.

What type of jobs do these people have? Flexi-time with a special clause where they can fuck off to any beach whenever the sun comes out? Do the papers have some sort of career beach-bums they pay? That they then send out to sit on these beaches when it's sunny so they can take a photo? Because I find it hard to believe that in a country where working hours are waay more then the rest of Europe loads of people can find the time to trot out our parks and beaches for one day of 25C heat. And don't say they probably did it during their lunch hour because most of these people in the pics looked equipped and prepped for a full day's sunbathing.

Certainly not me, I sat there yesterday, at lunch, eating my soggy roll, reading Google News fuming at these pictures wondering where the fuck these spawny bastards get the time to do stuff like that... the nearest decent bit of green grass I could go to sit on in the sun is more than half-an-hour away.

Fucking spawny sunbathing bastards! I bet they were the same cunts that made pathetic excuses to not go into work when we had all that snow whereas I struggled through it all suffered cancelled and delayed trains etc.

Life isn't fair... I need to make a t-shirt saying that.

Monday 16 April 2018

R Lee Ermey

RIP you magnificent bastard... the world has lost a true hero...



... he's gone and those fucking Kardashians add another number to their spawn, R Lee Ermey showed more talent by a performance in one half of a film than they've done for their entire sad, undeservedly rich lives.

Saturday 14 April 2018

The Last of Us 2

Having watched the second trailer... yes, Ellie, we will, kill them all...

[edit]

Shit, when did I post this?! I don't remember! Must have been pretty pissed-up a the time...

Blocking New Sources

It gave me an immense sense of achievement to block Financial Times from my newsfeeds in Google News, was so fed-up with their shit appearing all the time. I am not the slightest bit interested in reading journalism from a site that puts up a paywall. Fuck off and find other ways to monetise your site you pink-sheet dipshits.

Oh and I've blocked the Express too bit for different reasons... many, many different reasons.

Saturday 7 April 2018

Start of the 'Walking Season'

Now that there's more daylight and the weather is a bit more agreeable I have started my walking season (roughly between April and October) and I've begun it with a nice easy 10k distance :)


Failbook... and other social media stuff

Ugh... you know I haven't posted to my blog for ages... and I haven't posted anything of value content-wise for even longer than that! But you know, so what? I always remind myself that I created this blog for myself, as a legacy of my ramblings over the years of my life so I have a record that I can read back and amuse myself for when I'm, old infirm and plonked in a chair in some old people's home, quietly pissing myself.

My Blog's remained untouched because I expanded my presence into the world of social media by creating not just a Twitter account but also - by selling my soul to the devil - creating a Facebook account AND an Instagram account.

With Twitter I had a grand vision of moving my quotes and ramblings off Blogger because Google stupidly decided to abandon the IOS Blogger app, forcing me to use Safari which made it so painful to post to Blogger. But I found Twitter too exposing, to wide-ranging for my introverted character and also it's cringe-fest system of having to bow and simper to people to get them to follow you then thumping your chest with regular tweets in a pissing contest with others over how many followers you have. No, fuck that... so I just use it to complain and post the occasional Pokemon Go image/rant, which no-one reads anyway.

With Instagram I simply wanted to throw my photos out there, if there's one thing I WILL brag about myself, it's that I'm an excellent photographer and Instagram, with it's large user-base was a good choice to show off my work... and, to be honest, I've had a fair share of likes but, mostly, my stuff has been ignored, probably because Instagram is so massive so there's too much white noise interference for my content to get lost in... that and those fuckhead Kardashians with their fuckwit talentless posts.

Facebook, (or Failbook as I like to call it) was for a different reason... I'd always prided myself on being resistant to the call to join, citing reasons of privacy... however, despite my reluctance it seemed the only logical way to share my Rewind Weekend photos with the people I shared that weekend with, so I created a Facebook profile for that... I don't regret that decision but I don't enjoy using it so I rarely read it, 'like' stuff or post to it, much to the digital frustration of Facebook's marketing algorithms that regularly whore my profile out I'd wager!

I never intended to use Facebook like I do with Blogger, simply because I think there are too many people flooding their Facebook feeds with inane chat that their Friends probably find dull or possibly even annoying... too many on my feed post political opinions/controversy etc. that I believe they need to keep to themselves, personally I think facebook only should be for families/friends that are separated by great distances to stay more easily in touch but that's just me, Zuckerberg and co. feel otherwise and must feel empowered when they see someone get roasted in replied comments to their opinions on immigration or on some twatty politician's latest ramblings.

So that left Blogger, which I'd abandoned until now... I have come full circle, tried all the other social medai stuff that mattered, found them wanting which brought me back here... nice, safe, quiet Blogger, which no-one reads either!

Thursday 2 November 2017

My new Rust server header...

Thought I'd have a play in Photoshop... and plug my Rust server!


People queueing outside Apple Stores to buy an iPhone X

I must admit that I love it's features and may get one, but not now... I'll let the masses field test it first!

Sad bastards...

Monday 30 October 2017

Today is a GOOD day to want to live on this planet :)

Apparently the BBC's new Blue Planet II series got more viewers - half-a-million more - than Strictly Come Dancing...

An beautifully filmed, well-researched documentary, narrated by our National Treasure - Sir David Attenborough beat a piece of brainless reality-TV rubbish... my faith in humankind has risen a few points.

Saturday 21 October 2017

Drag me to Hell

Just watched Drag me to Hell... have to say I'm fucking glad Alison Lohman's character got it in the end, she killed a little kitty, in my book that's an eternity of torment in hell.

Saturday 14 October 2017

Subnautica - Reaper Leviathan... comfortably viewed in it's natural habitat :)

I really wanted to view one up close but got fed-up with getting owned, so I spent a great deal of time building a base near where one spawned... this Youtube vid is the end result:


Friday 13 October 2017

Ryan Gosling

Why does Ryan Gosling go around with an almost perpetual wry smile that says "I know a world shattering secret... and I'm not going to tell you what it is"?


Wednesday 11 October 2017

European League of Nations

A  new international competition for England to never win!

Details here

Star Wars - The Last Jedi Scramble

Wow, lots of people pre-ordering tickets for the latest Star Wars film?? Don't get me wrong I love the franchise and I will be going to see it, but not when it comes out. I can't stand sharing a packed out cinema full of idiots making small-talk or on their phones (a least one person forgets to put their's on silent), constant sounds of rustling as they tuck into their overpriced Popcorn/Doritos or bags of M&M's... and I invariably get the 8ft twat with a bouffant sat in front of me so I have to suffer a silhouetted 'hump' jutting up from the bottom of the screen for the entirety of the film.

No, better to go in the New Year when the number of interested parties has thinned out some, then we (me and my brother) get a nice nearly-empty theatre of like-minded individuals who want to enjoy a good Star Wars flick with no twat-ish behaviour.

One Call Insurance - Retards

All it took was one call, an agonising three-quarters of an hour long call during which I was passed between six separate operators possibly spanning three different departments...  and all I wanted to do was cancel and existing insurance policy. In the end, I was advised to use their live chat on the website to coordinate with and upload some paperwork! Yes, you heard it, I had to get what I need to get done not by speaking to humans, I had to use computers instead, WTF!!

Anything that goes 'off-script' with these organisations and they just lose their shit, I swear I was merely being passed off to a colleague each time because what I was requesting was just too hard for them to deal with.

I most certainly won't be using them for any insurance, not because they are prohibitively expensive or anything like that but because having to do anything else seems to be an utter nightmare-fest to get done!

World Cup 2018

The 'script' for next year's World Cup continues unabated

England qualified comfortably, as usual... then, at the tournament they will then be frustratingly bland, scrape through the second round, then go out, either to inferior opposition (who are fired-up and know how to get in our lads' heads) or on penalties to superior opposition. The usual England 'bogey teams' are there - Argentina (more on them in a bit), Portugal, Germany and, more recently, Iceland... all these teams stand in the way of England spectacularly snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. I'll be in a pub somewhere watching their games because me and millions of other England fans are gluttons for punishment.

Argentina managed to scrape through qualification with a 3-1 victory over Ecuador, prior to the game the odds were stacked against them - small point margins between 2nd and 5th in their group, Messi not firing, poor performances overall in past games, poor record against Ecuador, playing high altitude etc etc, yet somehow they pulled out the stops and got the victory they need and not only that, a Messi hat-trick too.

Now what will happen is, at the tournament, they will play the most sublime football ever, and reach the semis or the final... this being the polar opposite of England's fortunes... very, very frustrating.

Of course we can't discount the possibility of us being disqualified because of Russian machinations in the guise of inciting football hooliganism... and with FIFA being to weak to accept the truth, we'll get disqualified and Russia will get a collective hug.

Every four years we go through this stress, I sometimes wish we never qualify because I've thoroughly enjoyed watching these tournaments as a neutral.

Get outta my face Google!

FUCK OFF!


Stanislav Petrov - A Tribute

He is the man who single-handedly saved us from the brink of nuclear annihalation back in the Eighties... so as a tribute to him (and his family) I thought I'd immortalise him as an oil painting...

Produced using the oil paint feature in Photoshop CC...

Tuesday 10 October 2017

SNES Mini

So bloody fed-up of these opportunist 'tards reselling SNES Minis at twice the recommended retail price... and all because Nintendo can't pull their finger out and mass manufacture enough of them to go round...

Thursday 22 June 2017

Pokemon GO Cheaters... you have been warned

"Niantic’s warning to cheaters and hackers remains clear: Don’t do the thing, unless you want your Pokémon to suffer the consequences."

I'm all for it if it stops lazy-ass 'tards from cheating, forces them to get off their fat greasy arses get outside and play the game properly because I've walked every inch of the 1300-odd kilometres I've done in-game and busted my hump to get a pretty average battle roster so far (1400cp Lapras out of a 10k egg yesterday, I mean WTF!)... fucking annoys me that I have to battle 3000cp Dragonites in gyms that weren't earned fair and square.

Tuesday 20 June 2017

More 3D Messin'

I've been playing with Adobe's Project Felix some more... decided to model a pocket watch, why? Because I've been dying to draw a precision watch face, which, to be honest, doesn't require any kind of 3D modelling whatsoever! But, what the heck, I drew it then surrounded it with 3D afterwards!

All profiling and the watch face drawn in Adobe Illustrator, modelling done in Photoshop, then textures and rendering done in Felix.


Monday 19 June 2017

Parks & Recreation

This TV series has, literally, helped stave off my depression... Amy Poehler's character - Leslie Knope - is soo positive all the time that she massively lifts my spirits, plus the rest of the cast are such a good comedy mix too.

So to all the cast and crew of Parks & Recreation: thank you! :)


Friday 16 June 2017

Niantic are preparing for a major change to Pokemon GO gyms...

Rumour has it that a multiplayer element is possibly being added... great, so now instead of having to wade through stacks of hacked Dragonites and Blisseys offline I'll have to live-battle against and get owned by some snotty fourteen-year-old's 3000cp Dragonite that the spawny little git got from a 10k egg that he/she walked off by strapping their phone to a turntable.

"The capture mechanic is fun, but you’re a lone wolf, you’re going out there on your own.." says Niantic. "Maybe you’re with friends, but there’s not that, kind of, connected experience. We think there is an opportunity for collaboration in that area, but more to come on that.”

"FUCK OFF!" I like being a 'Lone Wolf'!! I realise Pokemon GO puts you out and about in public but this game is my me time and I don't want it to involve other people. So I really really hope Niantic aren't going to nerf Pokemon GO to such an extent that I'll be forced to have to speak to people!

Aah well... to cheer myself up I drew a Snorlax... and here it is...


Monday 5 June 2017

Adobe Felix

I've spent some time recently with Adobe's latest 3D app, called Felix... what I like about it is that it's being made for graphic designers, not engineers... which means it has a simpler, more intuitive interface for creative professionals.

I've used plenty of 3D software over the years, Strata3D being my most favourite and recently Photoshop CC's built-in 3D tools however I've found Felix very easy to use. So far my testing has been limited to importing models made from Photoshop, apply materials and rendering as Felix doesn't have modelling built-in (and may not have in future builds) but it is, very, very good. So good that I find it's rendering engine much better than Photoshop's. So now I transfer projects to Felix for rendering, freeing up Photoshop for other projects (a render job in Photoshop locks the entire app until it is finished).

The pic below is a rendering of a marble, it's a combination of a revolved object that's been twisted and distorted, then placed inside a sphere. I didn't bother adding materials, I just exported the 3D objects (in .obj format which is what Felix requires), once imported successfully I did some camera controls tweaking then applying Felix's built-in materials (glass mainly) and hey-presto! A rendered 3D marble... which, I have to say, I loved collecting when I was a kid!


Saturday 3 June 2017

Pokemon GO T-Shirt

I made myself this t-shirt recently to celebrate walking a 1000km in-game... I took a screenshot of the gold medal award graphic from the game, uploaded it to my Mac then re-traced it in Illustrator, saved it as a PDF then uploaded it to my favourite online t-shirt service - spreadshirt... they did a cracking job of re-producing it :)


My life so far...

Haven't posted much recently... my father passed away over Easter, been too depressed to do anything, certainly not been inspired enough to update my blog.

Anyway, recently, as an exercise to try to haul myself out of this deep funk I took my contributions to social media up a notch, by joining Twitter and Instagram.

I didn't join Facebook... Facebook can go fuck itself.

My Twitter feed is now bolted to this blog's sidebar, so that I can tie the two together... Instagram is mainly for my nature photography... a place for all my creative outpouring, such that it is at the moment.

Anyhoo, here's my latest abstract drawing, called 'Faded Tartan'...


Sunday 9 April 2017

Lego Technic #3

My excavator is coming along... I know, I know, I should have built it already but what the heck, I'm taking my time!

This stage is, without a doubt, full of cogs...

Cogcentric baby!

Tuesday 4 April 2017

Wednesday 22 March 2017

A Pokemon GO Milestone :)

1000 km walked! And in getting there I got lost in a swamp, avoided getting run over multiple times, got rained on, snowed on, worn my walking shoes soles down to almost nothing and caught God-know's how many Pokemon but heck it was all worth it!

Pokemon GO is awesome and long may it continue :)


Sunday 19 March 2017

Observing Stalkers in Subnautica

Anyone who has played Subnautica will have had a chunk bitten out of them by a Stalker, it's pretty difficult not to when you need to get Kelp Seeds... so I decided to build an observation platform for getting up close to them safely:

Thursday 16 March 2017

Wasps Rugby 150th Anniversary Year

In celebration of Wasps 150th anniversary I have produced this version of their new logo - gold stitching on denim :)



Saturday 11 March 2017

A great day for English sport...

We've equalled New Zealand's unbeaten run, won the Cacutta Cup AND won the Six Nations!

Not a bad day's work :)

Friday 3 March 2017

Nintendo Switch

Yipee, I've got mine :)

Full of Nintendo goodness!

I open the Zelda box, aaaannd... really Nintendo?! All that real estate for a tiny SD card?!!

Blink and I'll miss it...

Now for some Nintendo fun!!

Monday 27 February 2017

Game over man!!

RIP Bill Paxton, one of my favourite 'journeymen' actors.



Your sleazy cheesy film roles were pure entertainment, and I mean that in a happy positive way.

As Hudson in my favourite film of all time - Aliens, I always wanted him to survive or, at least go out with a bang rather than become an alien incubator. Plus how can we forget your sleazy car salesman from True Lies? "I'm naval liiinnnt...!", brilliant! And as the obnoxious big brother in Weird Science: "How about a greazzy pork sandwich... served in an ashtray!" Each of those roles defined your on-screen characters and because of them I was never able to see you as the strong, reserved, silent type.

My thoughts are with the family, the world has lost a great guy.

To Ruck, or not to Ruck?

Everyone has been weighing in on what Italy did during yesterday's 6-nations game against England and every observation from every angle and pretty much every opinion possible has been aired.

But I make this observation, based on everyone's response:

Italy were lauded as 'brave', 'clever' and 'a bit cheeky' for doing it, if Wales had done it they'd have been applauded with 'clever, dynamic Welsh Rugby'. If Scotland had done it it would be 'Brave tactics in the face of English oppression', Ireland? 'Ahh those cheeky Irish are at it again with their close gain-line tactics' and France? 'The mighty Les Blues add a twist to their passion and creativity...' and England? If we'd have done it we'd just be branded as a bunch of tossers for ruining the game.

The fact that England got a win bonus despite some creative Italian use of the rulebook was glossed over because, yet again, we're in the realm of England-bashing small-island-mentalities.

Note to the Scotland team: Please don't use that tactic, you're good enough to NOT need it, especially based on the way you've been in this year's Six Nations. I can see you sneaking a win at Twickenham if you play YOUR way.

Saturday 25 February 2017

Lego Technic #2

Latest update on my construction of the big ass excavator I got...

This evening it's the two tracks:

Pretty basic to start with...
As usual I was so into the building that I forgot to take picture so the next one is with them mostly complete!

Really, really must remember to take the damned photos!

After building the track support structures for both sides, the tracks themselves needed putting together... that's x44 individual pieces... each.

A bit tedious... but necessary
Fitting the tracks...

I found it easier to drape them over first
then turn over the entire base and click the two
joining pieces together

...and here's the base completed :)

I'm such a Lego geek!

So much fun!

Pidgey's in their natural habitat :)

I went out Pokemon hunting today, plenty of Pidgey's about...

Sod the seed, feed me CANDIES!

Friday 24 February 2017

The Pokemon GO FADs have left...


A week ago the all new Pokemon GO update was release which included the Gen 2 Pokemon.
So it was no surprise to see the game busy again, practically every Pokestop I saw had been baited and the app continuously crashed because of server outtages. This is because all the FAD dickheads with short attention spans who gave up in the game a few weeks after it came out last summer, thought 'wow, new Pokemon to catch' then collectively flooded onto the servers to go get them.

Now, one week later... and the Pokestop landscape tells another story - hardly any with bait modules running, back to normal then.

That's because the FADs all got bored and went back to scoping/wall hacking in COD, because those don't require any exercise... tossers.

Wednesday 22 February 2017

Photography #101

Here's a slow motion video I took of the sea wake behind my dad's boat... it's incredibly relaxing to watch!

Lego Technic

I've gotten into Lego Technic... after recently ditching Sky TV I've been after other avenues of entertainment. Something more 'hands-on' rather than staring at the TV all the time...

I've had it for a few weeks now and haven't made much progress... this is because, like a fine wine, I've been 'relishing' it, taking my time, building it bit by bit... and thoroughly enjoying it I have too!

The set is a Bucket Wheel Excavator, and it's huge! The manual alone is 500-pages long but it's a challenge enough to enable me to engage my brain on a 'non-digital' craft after spending a day staring at a computer screen!

The box...

A manual that you can chock a 747 with!

Making a start - the excavator loader truck

Loader truck step 2

Loader truck - more pieces

Loader truck, chassis almost complete :)

Loader truck - steering added

Loader truck... just need wheels :)

Loader truck complete!

Once the loader truck is finished the manual moves on to the excavator - the base section from the looks of it:

From small steps...

Okay that's a heck of a big jump between this pic and the
previous one, but I was concentrating so much I forgot to
take pictures!

Here's the base completed, alongside the truck...

That's as far as I've got... next up - the excavator's tracks!

Photography #101

Spent some time on my dad's boat last weekend, we went out into Poole harbour... took the opportunity to take some pics using my phone (really wished I'd taken my camera though...)


I love photographs of the sun reflecting off the sea, it always gives the image a sense of depth.

Tuesday 21 February 2017

Reasons why I don't want to live on this planet anymore #11

I'm just going to weight in on this #piegate malarky...

How the fuck can a man lose his job over eating a fucking pie for fucks sake?! When Joey Barton, who put thousands of bets on football matches get's a slap on the wrist?

Wayne Shaw - a pie-eating legend
Wayne Shaw, has worked his ass off for Sutton United and he get's treated like that, it's not criminal what he did, it's criminal that he got fired for it. The FA and gambling commission, yet gain, have their priorities completely out of whack... but hey, provided it get's them column inches portraying them as white knights who cares right?! Bunch of middle-management suit-wearing fucktards.

I hope Wayne get's a new job involving pies, makes loads of money and, as others have said, buys Sutton FC, THEN, whilst they're playing, eats several pies whilst sitting on the bench.

I just thought I'd add my indignation with many others over this.

Apple's new headquarters - 'Campus 2'

I realised today just what Apple are up to with their new $3 billion headquarters.

A bit of Photoshopping by me reveals that, yes indeed, they're constructing a Stargate!!


Probably going to use it to connect to an empty, uninhabited world so they can bin negative reviews, OSX crash reports, the new Mac Pro blueprints and any hope humanity has left for legacy data ports.

My life update so far...

Haven't posted in my blog much recently... although I do have things to report.

I've been skiing, to Ischgl in Austria, after a ten-year absence on the slopes... and I am happy to say it was, literally, as they say, 'like riding a bike' :) We had glorious weather in plenty of sun and well bashed pistes, Ischgl is a fantastic skiing resort and I recommend it to anyone, I may post some pics if I can get around to it.

My health is a bit better after speaking with various medical consultants... to any Meniere's sufferers out there - drink plenty of water, stay hydrated and it helps a lot! :)

Thursday 19 January 2017

Epson's support is useless...

They may make the best large format printheads in the industry but their support is bass-ackwards!

I discovered the other day that one of the colours wasn't firing on our GS6000 printer after doing a nozzle-test... so I do all the usual front-end operator-level troubleshooting - restarting, cleaning, flushing etc to see if it was a blocked nozzles problem, which it wasn't.

This prompted me (with a small amount of trepidation) to contact Epson Support despite the fact that I had seen this problem before and knew that, back then, it resulted in a new printhead! I guess part of me wanted this problem to just go away and, as such, believed that by getting an Epson Support Rep to 'wiggle it' some, said problem would indeed, go away.

I was wrong... so, so wrong.

I decided to use the online chat feature so I could multitask...

Got connected with a Rep, explained the problem, sent him/her/it (could've been a bot) all the required info, answered questions - yes I've cleaned it, yes I've flushed, yes I've visually inspected the printhead and confirmed no blockages... yes I've ran several nozzle tests etc etc. Eventually it came down to an attempt to update the firmware because, apparently, the version my printer has is not the latest one and doing a firmware update seems to be the standard Epson 'Fuck it, try it anyway" fixall solution, even if it's already the latest version.

So anyway the Rep gives me a download link to some software - called LFP Remote - for me to install and run so I can do the update, he also gives me a link to the supposed 'latest' firmware. I try to install it and it doesn't run because it's a PowerPC version and my Mac is running OSX10.10. Now, this really fucking annoys me, because it clearly lists OSX10.10 in the supported OS list next to the download link!

As I had disconnected the chat session I had re-connect and start the chat again, fortunately I was re-connected to the same Rep (at least, it appeared that way, I could have been talking fucking Sanjay in New Delhi for all I knew). I explained the problem, saying that I'm getting an error stating it's a PowerPC version and he asks if I could restart the Mac and try again as it IS compatible. 'Fucks sake' I think to myself, 'It's fucking MacOS, restarting to install software went out with OS's at the turn of the fucking Century!' I didn't want to restart for two reasons: 1. No amount of rebooting will fix a PowerPC compatible app attempting to be ran on a system higher than OSX10.5 and, 2. Restarting would've meant that we'd have lost the chat session (which, in hindsight, probably meant that he was fed-up with me and it seemed like a cool way to fuck off the conversation).

So I tell him that I'd already tried that and it still doesn't work... I then ask him to send me download link for a version of LFP monitor that works with Windows 7, which he does with an additional comment of: "Don't worry about it being listed for another model of printer, it works with them all...". So I go to my Windows 7 PC and use the URL he sent me... nothing happens, just a blank page. I try it on another PC AND my Mac, same problem. Fortunately the chat window is still open so I tell him this, after 5 minutes he comes back and says that he is having the same problem so it must be a problem with the server at Epson's end... cue another sigh and "FFS" audible statement from me! Rep then says: "Send me your e-mail address, then bear with me and I'll find a working server you can download LFP monitor from and I forward the link for it to you", "Great" I say in response... we then end the chat.

The Rep sends me nothing.

Bollocks.

"Okay" I think, "Fuck you Epson, I'll do it myself"... so I start doing some browsing, looking for a version of LFP monitor that will work with Windows 7. As we have another model of Epson printer - a SureColor 70600 - I download the one listed under that model, and hey, it downloads AND installs!... But then NOOO! It only lists the 70600 and not the GS6000 printers... bugger! So much for the Rep stating earlier that LFP monitor works with ALL Epson printers!

After more browsing I end up on another Epson site (that's working) and find a page (that's working) for GS6000 downloads... listed on that page is a Windows XP version of LFP monitor.

I install it on a Windows XP PC, configure the comms driver, point it at the printer's IP address, launch LFP monitor and pray. Initially my prayer is answered, LFP monitor connects to the printer and shows it's status, "Finally" I say to myself. So I then go get the firmware file...

LFP Monitor lists the printer's firmware as: T003C2, it lists the file version as: T004B3 and says it is too old to install! Cue my umpteenth "FFS!" audible statement of the day. This is the firmware file the Rep swears is the MOST up-to-date version... I even had him repeat that statement to confirm it!

I go back to Epson's chat support... surprisingly I get the same guy (that he's talking from Telford in Shropshire is still questionable) I explain that LFP monitor is stating the downloaded firmware file is older in comparison to the one currently in the printer. I state that "I really, really don't like updating firmware unless it is absolutely necessary and when I see a red flag like this I get nervous".

Rep responds: "I would advise you go ahead anyway, it'll be okay..." So I reply: "Well it's coming up to the end of the day and I don't want to deal with a potentially bricked printer..." we end the chat session.

Cue the next day, I come in, bright and early and after getting settled I load LFP monitor, check I'm connected to the right printer, load the firmware and, oh! The 'Update' button is greyed out! Which is something I failed to notice the previous afternoon. Although it kinda makes sense as the software is detecting that the version in the printer is more recent so it prevents you from writing over a good firmware with an inferior version. However, in this situation it really doesn't help me!

I wait until 9am-ish then go to Epson Support Chat... I connect with a different Rep so I have to explain it all again... cue another sigh then audible "FFS!" I give him the printer model, operating system etc... Then after what seems like an age, where, probably, the Rep went off and made himself his first coffee of the day he responds with an apology and that he 'is looking into this issue for me'.

I go do other stuff as it seems like he's off round the world looking for answers... roughly 20 minutes later he comes back, again, apologises and states that 'I can confirm your printer already has the latest firmware installed' and that 'he was sorry for the confusion caused by the firmware version numbers' and finally 'it's not necessary but an engineer can manually install it for you if you wish'.

I lose my shit.

So I'm given firmware to replace one that is the same version but with a different filename, using software that doesn't work on my Mac, despite it saying it does... I'm given conflicting information from different reps and sent on a jolly through various sections of Epson's domain parts of which didn't work or looked like a throwback to nineties chic websites.

After a tirade of rants I prematurely ended the chat session, signing it off with a statement of "looks like I'm on my own with this problem" ... I came close to swearing but managed to hold onto my professionalism.

I don't know which is worse - either Epson don't care because, in their eyes the GS6000 is an old, obsolete model so, because of that, any information they give is scratchy and outdated. Or are too stupid despite that fact that the GS6000 has been around long enough for them to accumulate plenty of experience that they should use to help.

...and I'm stuck with a broken GS6000.

Epson, you fail.

Thursday 12 January 2017

Anamorphic Images

I've been playing with anamorphic images recently, for the uninitiated it's a technique that 'distorts' a 2D  image to make it look more realistic in 3D when viewed from a certain angle of perspective. Street artists have been doing it for years and the overall principle has been experimented with amongst artists for centuries.

Probably the most obvious examples are the sponsor logos that are seen on sports grass pitches on TV, they're distorted in such a way that when the camera points at them they look like they're 'standing-up'.

So now it's arrived at my little corner of the web... for this test I decided to use the Wasps Rugby logo and, basing it on the popular Rubic's Cube image example, I distorted it using grid templates I drew in Adobe Illustrator, printed it from a laser printer, and then cut part of it out on our Zund plotter, the result is this video:


It's not great, the problem is the Wasp graphic's antenna created a shadow that almost ruins the effect and the paper I used is too thin and light to stay down against the Zund's bed vacuum suction but, despite that, the effect does work! Placing a shadow effect below the logo helps enhance it...

The OCD graphic designer in me wants to improve this video because the angle at which I filmed it makes the Wasps logo look too fat on the height, the original logo is much thinner.

Photography #101

Haven't posted any pics from my photography collection for a while, these two are from my trip to the Scilly Isles last autumn...

I love doing heavily silhouetted landscapes

This was taken using macro-mode and zoomed in.
Great detail of the grains of sand around the shell :)
Hot damn I'm awesome at photography :p

Wednesday 4 January 2017

Note to self... and others

Note to self - never, whilst sitting at home alone and on the evening of your birthday, watch two episodes of Black Mirror.

A superb series but it's depressing enough celebrating a birthday on your own at this time of the year without adding to it!

Saturday 31 December 2016

Well, 2016 pretty-much sucked...

Yep, a boatload of talented film, TV, radio and music stars died, my health took a nosedive, work is shit and... two days before it ends my dad get's admitted to hospital for the first time in his life with a mystery illness that they haven't figured out yet... and here I sit as I write this with less than an hour before midnight, worried sick about him.

Fuck you 2016. Crappy New Year everyone.

Friday 23 December 2016

Hunting artillery in World of Tanks

More World of Tanks goodness...



To be honest I got very lucky... if that player had been able to fire on target I'd be the one in flames!

Having fun in World of Tanks...

Here's a video of my latest session in World of Tanks... playing artillery:


Thursday 15 December 2016

This is why I voted for Brexit...

This video is why I voted for Brexit...



EU bureaucrats - what a bunch of immature children... blanking our Prime Minister in a collective display of sour grapes because our country voted out.

Tossers.

I feel for her to be honest, her job's difficult enough as it is without that lot pulling faces and making it even more difficult.

HP Printhead Nozzles Conspiracy

I am convinced that it's bullshit when HP reports show nozzles out on their printheads (for those types of printers that support it).

Take our HP 360 Latex for example, I spent some time this morning running 'clean printhead' operations then running the Printer Information report immediately after:

This is the first report, prior to me running a clean, it shows some nozzles on the printheads 'out':

Report 1

So I run my first clean, and after, refresh the report:

Report 2

To be fair, it 'shows' that they ARE unblocking, so I run another clean, then refresh the report again:

Report 3

Oh wow! Looks like I'm making some progress based on the results from that previous report, so I do a fourth clean (the OCD in me thinking I can get those numbers even lower...)

Report 4

Nope. What WAS I thinking! So now the optimiser printhead loses the plot and the previously misbehaving magenta printhead is getting clogged up again.

In-between reports 2 and 3 I do some plot tests and sure enough there ARE nozzles out on the magenta and they DO come back after a targeted clean (i.e. I do the clean ONLY on the magenta/yellow printheads). However the plot test shows the black printheads as perfectly okay despite there being nozzles consistently out.

So I do another clean, thinking maybe the optimiser printheads will unblock because, strangely, they were fine based on the first report:

Report 5

...aaaand... No! They just start getting worse again!!

I gave up at that point and just ran a image quality test, which looked acceptable... to most people, but not to me because I KNOW there are nozzles not working!

In conclusion, I think HP just runs a routine in the printer firmware that randomises the output of the printhead nozzle numbers, that way, us peon print-operators use-up ink from doing continuous cleans, forcing us to buy more than we need.

Tuesday 13 December 2016

'Tis the season for office parties...

Working in a large city has it's benefits sometimes... and one of them is watching large crowds of office-goers heading out to their yearly Christmas party as I make my way across the city to catch my train.

Take last night for example... as I passed a well known, quite posh, real ale pub (it's based in one of the more prosperous parts of the city and is usually full of high profile well-to-do finance office workers, lawyers etc.) I saw a group of people there, stood outside, dressed in what looked like Pantomime characters. Their laughter could be heard a couple of streets away and they seemed to be having a good time but, to me, their laughter sounded a bit too loud and a bit too forced... almost as if they were collectively silently crying out: 'This isn't what we wanted to do for an office party!' I'd imagine that the alcohol had started to flow early and fast in order to take the edge off their apparent discomfort!

So from now on until a day or two before Christmas Eve, I'll be dodging gangs of well-dressed people drunkenly roving the streets, either heading off or coming out of their respective parties, that will be/have been full of stereotypical behaviour that we all expect for this time of year.

...and no, I'm not jealous at all... well, definitely not jealous of that bunch wearing the Panto gear, I'd rather take a cheese-grater to my nutsack than have to put up with that kind of party.

Saturday 10 December 2016

Out and about... drinking

Off out doing a spot of 'single' pub crawling prior to meeting up with some family members in a bavarian beer shed... where they are serving beer in stein mugs. Then after that I am heading in to town to a reunion with a load of my old work colleagues... this evening is going to get messy!

EDIT: It didn't get messy, no-one was drinking steins, just expensive German crap in plastic jugs. After that I headed into town where I almost pissed myself because I spent too much time outside my bladder's comfort zone looking for the joint where I was to meet my ex-work colleagues. Then, when I finally found it (after an impromptu stop at another bar I thought was the venue but used their toilet anyway), only half of them turned-up! Then, at the end of the evening, the trains failed me again and I had to get an expensive taxi due to the last train home getting cancelled... that taxi fare was my groceries for the following week.

Fucking trains. Fucking expensive taxis - another reason why I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Wednesday 7 December 2016

Reasons why I don't want to live on this planet anymore #10.5

Fucking trains...

Never getting to get back two hours of my life lost, on a bus, stuck in traffic... and why? Because every single train got cancelled, forcing me to make alternate arrangements.

Two fucking hours to go a measly 12 miles... and this is supposed to be the 21st Century!

I'd have gotten home quicker using a horse and cart, from back in the early 1900s.

EDIT: Whilst I'm thinking about this... and while we're on the subject of the 21st Century - when my Fitbit Surge is charging, the Fitbit app, without fail, sends me a notification telling me "That it is charged and is missing me...", yet the LondonMidland app did fuck all to prevent me slogging all the way to the station to find chaos.

Yep - 21st Century is shaping up nicely, we're all well-informed on stuff that doesn't matter.

Reasons why I don't want to live on this planet anymore #10

The weather...

When I was younger the seasons in this country were so much more... 'honest'. By that I mean summers were bloody hot and winters were bloody cold.

These days we don't have seasons, certainly not ones defined by the weather... leaves on trees appear sometime at the start of the year and then fall off towards the end, that's about it.

In this country the retartdedness of the weather starts around December - we'll get warm, mild, wet conditions, usually reserved for mid-summer. Making walking around in a winter coat fucking uncomfortable and annoying because it supposed to feel like winter so not wearing a coat just feels weird.

This will continue until January when it'll cool down but we won't get any snow because that would mean we could have some fun and remember kids, no-one has fun these fucking days... so it'll be bitterly cold and wet (but no snow) and will stay that way until mid-May (despite the fact that it should change to more milder conditions around mid-March to May.

Then... like pressing a light switch, conditions will warm-up but they won't be dry... oh no, we won't be allowed that... no, from May onwards we're subjected to almost continuous monsoons which makes any outdoor activity an utterly miserable experience. Then August arrives, and we'll get short periods of nice hot, dry weather but only during a working week, it'll cloud over at weekends and rain.

Between mid September and October we finally get some consistent, dry decent weather, but by then the days have become too fucking short and the sun too weak for anyone properly enjoy it.

Then we get to November and the leaf fall starts... which tells us it's autumn and that we should start getting our t-shirts ready for that fucking annoying warm mild spell in December again.

I really do feel like our weather these days is controlled by a bunch of middle-management pointless Post-it note wielding quango dickheads.

Tuesday 6 December 2016

Ski Preparations...

Well I'm relieved to find out that my ski boots still fit after several years...


As for the actual skiing bit? Ahh, like riding a bike!

Coming soon - my trip to Austria... in pictures!!