RIP Terry Wogan

It's a sad day to hear that Sir Terry Wogan has died, Blankety Blank and his chat show 'Wogan' were a staple diet of entertainment when I was growing up and his narrations over Eurovision were pure class.

He also made my daily commute to work enjoyable, his breakfast show was an oasis surrounded by bolshy Radio 1 DJs and simpering characterless commercial radio DJs. His silky Irish brogue was so damned calming to listen to!

Ireland has lost a national treasure and the UK has lost an adopted one.

RIP El Tel, Togs up and down the country are sobbing into their hot cocoas...

It's the small things...

I love that 'bedgasm' feeling from an electric blanket when I get into bed after a long day...

Says a lot about my mundane life I suppose.

The Results from my Alcohol-Fuelled Saturday

A fond memory from last Saturday... I can recall that moment through the haze of alcohol, perhaps I shouldn't have done that one-man pub crawl afterwards?

Magnums, Cornettos and Ben & Jerry's tubs will shrink in size due to new health guidelines

So there'll be less in a tub of Ben and Jerry's but it'll still be the same price?

Fine, but I'll just add more sugar to my cups of tea to compensate, those interfering scientist fuckers can't influence the size of teaspoons!

Post Wasps Game Pub Crawl #5

Fifth pub and I've made a schoolboy error here... I went to the curry place next door and ordered my takeaway before I came in here... which means I'm on the clock for drinking a pint.

Bugger, that makes it a bit gassy!

Post Wasps Game Pub Crawl #4

Arrived at 4th pub...and it's O'Neil's... finally!

Went to the toilet first and had a massive sneezing fit whilst in there, so much so that, after I left and when I got to the bar it made it somewhat awkward when ordering my pint.

It's gone off now... thankfully. This place always plays classic disco hits until the small hours of the morning. I've had many a good time boogeying away here... this time though I'll just sit here, nursing my sneeze-ravaged nose and drink my pint.

EDIT: O2, your wireless upload speed suck balls, ffs this is the 21st Century!

Post Wasps Game Pub Crawl #3

ENext pub... and it's a Rugby pub :)

No, not O'Neils, a Walkabout Pub... totally Aussie and bang smack in my home town, brilliant!

Again, not busy but whatever... just seen Sky's quick highlights of the European Champions Rugby pool group winners and it makes my beer taste oh so much better to see a big capital 'Q' next to Wasps in the table, meaning they get a home quarter final :)

This pub will be where we - en-masse - will watch England play some of their game in the 6-Nations... lets hope Eddie Jones' philosophy has sunk into the squad quickly enough.

EDIT: There's a bloke sat in one corner who keeps staring at me, he's wearing a flat cap, long coat, is lounging across the the seat propping his head up with one arm, he looks well pissed off...

Now he's sat back and is looking at the TVs, thank fuck for that. Still looks miserable though, can't be a Leinster fan, they are all way too cheerful, regardless of the result.

Came back from the toilet and sat at a table directly opposite miserable looking bloke, only because my place at the bar was lost.

Ah man! The effort that he is making to downturn the corners of his mouth to form an unhappy expression is directly proportionate to the lack of effort the rest of his body is doing... i.e. fuck all, which means he looks the meanest most unhappiest person in the entire universe! 

This guy makes the Grinch look like Father Christmas.

Post Wasps Game Pub Crawl #2

Second pub now... and if you've read previous posts it's the one that I left quickly after watching England in a dull 0-0 draw with Algeria in the 2012 World Cut group finals stage... still get a shudder from that game.

This pub is huge, two floors high and Wetherspoons branded (so cheap beer).

Not much to report beyond that, I'm even thinking that my next pub selection should be O'Neil's? Might not be the best idea going there sporting a Wasps scarf after the tonking they gave one of Ireland's premiere Rugby teams!

But, hey ho, the Irish are, if anything, gracious in defeat... and damned good drinkers to boot!

Post Wasps Game Pub Crawl #1

So I'm in my first pub after being dropped off after the Wasps v Leinster game... if you've read my last post I had a near miss with wetting myself due to having a few beers at the game and it being a close call!

It's pretty quiet here, West Ham v Man City live on Sky, a few people watching... it's basically that 'calm' period before the serious evening revellers turn up in their masses, said 'revellers' are probably getting off on cheap booze so they're sufficiently drunk enough to make their evening a bit cheaper when they do turn up.

Anyway I'm on my own, clad in my Wasps scarf, in my own little corner sinking my pint with na'ery a care in the world and long may it continue... well, until the next pub anyway.

Novotel - I thank you!

Went to watch Wasps' demolition of Leinster today at the Ricoh and as it's a Saturday I had a few beers, which put some stress on my bladder... so I had a piss 5 minutes before the game ended, a tactical piss if you may because we had a  long walk ahead of us to the car park.

So the game ends and as we took the long walk back the urge slowly began to build up until it became a 'critical mass' situation where it was either I pissed myself or risking public exposure, lobbed it out and took a piss in front of hundreds of fellow Wasps fans.

Thankfully, just before our car park, was a Novotel hotel which pretty-much like every hotel ever had a bar and by that definition, a toilet :)

Wild horses couldn't drag me away, ne' a solid 80ft steel wall wouldn't have stopped me getting to that toilet and when I did it was sheer heaven... in fact if you're a spiritual person I think I can safely say that that moment is clearly what heaven feels like.

Now we're headed back home and I fully intend to pub-crawl around my home town but with another visit to the bog as I can feel it building up again... God damn it! I've got a bladder like rice paper!!

Go Wasps!

The Gym

Just been to the gym, first time this year... seems like a lot of loud twenty something nobs have joined since I was last there, perhaps they're having a 'young dickheads joining get 6 months free' or something like that.

'Yeah man, I'll definitely do that sometime but my legs are toast man!' exclaimed one loudly as I entered the changing room. Probably did a few quadriceps reps then spent the rest of the session gassing with his buddies. Gym's are full of people doing that...

The life choices we fail to make

We've all done this: spent time reflecting on stuff we wished we'd learnt when we were younger.

For me it's three things, learning to play the piano, learning history and speaking a second language.

I just think it would be really cool to be able to walk into a pub, see a piano in the corner, stroll over to it and bang out the piano solo in Bruce Hornsby and the Range's hit song 'The Way It Is'.

Or, again, in a pub, correct people when they mention something historically inaccurate or regale them with deep historical facts. Not crappy tabloid popcorn stuff like "Queen Victoria liked her eggs scrambled' etc., but deep meaningful stuff like "I think the latter half of 15th Century was an important time as the Renaissance period was just beginning to break out of it's infancy and if it wasn't for the likes of Michelangelo we wouldn't have such stunning architecture and such detailed artistic styles we have today", beats the hell out of stuff like like "Who's going to win Strictly?" or what that bunch of retards the Kardashians are up to.

As for speaking a second language, the reason's are twofold: 1. Shows respect when abroad and 2. Know when I'm having the piss taken out of me and being able to retort back, fluently.

Yes it's a shame I'm not adept at any of those, although I like to think I have a firm grasp of our history, like others, I still find myself reaching for Google. Musically I have two left feet and as for speaking a second language I could spend an eternity asking directions to the beach and still end up getting lost!

So what can we learn about this? Well, for young people, follow your dreams and don't get distracted by the joys life throws at you (like alcohol for instance). If you do, you'll find middle age is way more interesting!

Carry on Laughing

I haven't posted for a while due to being too depressed to think of anything worthy enough to share with the web-o-sphere...

I have, however, just watched Carry On Up The Khyber and it cheered me right up!

You can always rely on a Carry On film to do that :)

ESO - Latest Adventures

I finished my first working week of 2016 with a lengthy session in Elder Scrolls Online...

It's amazing what you can see with a nVidia GTX 970:

Back to Work

Ho hum, back to work tomorrow... and it's my birthday too.

Worst day of the year to have a birthday:

1. Most people go back to work
2. Most people are hungover
3. Most people are skint

Yeah so like no-one's ever in the mood to celebrate it.

Netflix has Hacked my Brain

You know recently I've found myself thinking about two movies that I haven't seen for ages and that I'd like to watch them again and boom! Netflix e-mails me that they are now available to watch, how weird is that? The two films in question were We Were Soldiers and Big Trouble in Little China.

Most would say it's coincidence, I reckon they've wirelessly hacked my brain... good job I partitioned off and encrypted all the sordid stuff!!

2016

Crappy New Year everyone... I didn't do anything for New Year's Eve, just spent the day playing Squad, Reign of Kings and Dayz, then went to bed around 11.30pm and read my Kindle until midnight. I did that 'cos all the fireworks would have woken me up anyway.

Yes, pretty sad but whatever, I spared my liver and saved a bunch of money.

Here's more of me messing around in Just Cause 3:

Post Christmas - Just Cause 3 Messing Around

After an alcohol-fuelled Christmas I hit the gaming ground running... here's me putting an attack chopper through it's paces... Viva Medici!

Abstract Art #11

Here's another abstract added to my collection... I'm calling this one 'Corrupted VGA'.

Asparagus

What is about asparagus? Literally minutes after consumption it makes your wee smell weird?

Still, it has to be one of my favourite vegetables.

Asparagus... weird.

The Dancing Knight

I took time out from mining and building in Reign of Kings to have a bit of a boogy to Abba :)

Reign of Kings - out of Beta

Reign of Kings has come out of beta testing and is now officially released as version R1 :)

To celebrate, I've been building like a knight possessed!

Hm.. do I add a shed?

Abstract Art #10

Yet another abstract to my collection... this is called 'Rectangular Cascade'...

Humans are obsessed with control

You know the one thing that pisses me off about this world we live in today is people's need to control others, I cite some examples:

1. Politicians pushing through unnecessary law policy to micromanage every aspects of their citizen's lives

2. The Catholic church pushing their Christmas message aggresively by telling young kids Santa doesn't exist and that the 'spirit' of Christmas is about the birth of a man who, lets be honest here, supposedly got brutally nailed to a cross in his early adult years, great stuff for kids that is

3. ISIL wanting to control the world with their Islam bullshit

4. Big tech companies such as Facebook and Google constantly pressuring us into revealing our true identities online, sell us to marketing companies then pound us with targeting advertising whilst controlling our web browsing which ultimately leads them to controlling our lives

5. Scientists dragging their feet with space research because let's face it, if they proved they could get colonists to Mars right now, they'd lose out on billions of money's worth of research grants given to them over the next twenty years which they can use to come up with alternate science to make tons of money that will ultimately control people

6. Medical 'professionals' telling us what's bad for us, controlling how much salt we're supposed to consume, or units of alcohol we're supposed to be limited to and generally annoying us with their bullshit

7. Climatologists constantly telling us it's our fault global warming is happening, despite them basing their evidence on a bunch of dusty fossils or some rotten silt sample from the middle of the arctic, and using that bullshit to control how much energy we're supposed to use

8. Oil companies deliberately interfering with research into battery technology or alternate power sources for cars, heaven forbid if that happened... they'd lose trillions because we'd no longer be putting petrol/diesel in our vehicles

Sometimes I feel I just want to bugger off to a tropical island, get away from all this crap.

Abstract Art #9

Here's my very latest 'pre-Christmas' abstract... I'm calling it 'Candy', or 'Sweets' if you're not American, which I'm not... but I'm still calling it 'Candy', sounds better.

Why? Because it reminds me of those hard sherbert sweets I used to have as a kid, like the ones where you dipped them in flavoured powders (can't remember what they were called), or Love Hearts, remember them?

The Crime of the Century

You know, it truly is the crime of the century that the Series Firefly was cancelled after just one season...

A real shame...

Piss Relief #2

My god there is nothing like it!!!

Piss Relief

One of the most satisfying feelings ever is the one after you've been for a piss when you were absolutely bosting for a one beforehand... it is an exulted feeling and one made all the more so by the fact that I had to troop an abnormal distance in order to empty my bladder which increased my need... this is due to the fucking council-in-charge of the Bavarian beer shed they organised not having WC's... the fuckers.

Pre Christmas Piss-up

I'm out in my local town to meet family and others for a pre-Christmas gettogether.

I'm out on my own to start with (as usual) and will pub crawl until the time comes for us to meet at a Bavarian style 'shed' that has been setup in the local shopping square... there, some seriously strong Austrian/German beer will be imbibed. Looking forward to it, said beer is often much purer than the processed lager muck we Brits drink, despite being stronger you get less if a hangover the morning after, this is due to fewer chemicals used... I can attest to this because I've skied in Austria, had boatloads of beer and been lively enough to ski a mountain the next day.

Long live Bavarian Beer!

A Proper Pedestrian

Recently I, as a pedestrian, I have increasingly become more attentative of the traffic lights at pedestrian crossings.

Most people cross regardless of what the lights are showing provided that there are no vehicles approaching (although I've seen some dash across at the last second, much to the driver's annoyance). I used to do this and only do it now when the road is absolutely clear at times very early in the morning.

I guess I'm too old now to be bothered doing that scuttling like dash we all do, you know the type, meant only for short distances 'cos it's too uncomfortable to maintain. I also can't stand having to do that 'will he or won't he' pose for a sprint start in anticipation of the light changing, edging towards the start of the crossing thinking that I 'may just get away with it' despite that fact that the waiting drivers are gunning their engines in equal anticipation... I just don't need that stress of a decision.

I think the experience of being done for speeding has had an influence (albeit a couple of years ago), that 'grounding' effect it had has crossed over into a lot of things I do. Instead, now what I do is when I'm approaching a pedestrian crossing and the lights are on red, I slow down... and if they are still red when I arrive at the crossing, I wait. Even if others around me are dashing across I still wait. Then, when the lights change I press the button and patiently wait for the next change to red. When that happens I cross with a clear conscience.

Dear reader you should try it sometime instead of dashing headlong into the road, it may just save you a serious injury.

Abstract Art #8

Haven't posted for a while... probably due to the exciting life I lead, NOT!

Here's my latest abstract... calling it 'The One Red Thread' ...

Oh and Merry Christmas everyone.

Galaxy Tab 4 Baby!

My first post from my brand new Galaxy Tab 4 :) I took advantage of Cyber Monday.

A test of your morality, if you will...

Imagine that we had advanced our technology to such an extent that travelling to distant habitable exo-planets within a few years was possible.

Now imagine that during such a mission a similar earth-like planet (with the same resources as ours) was found populated with humans who had reached a level of technology similar to our industrial revolution. As mission commander you would want to make contact with these people and, on making contact, there are a number of choices to make:

1. Be passive, study them, send your findings back to mission control

2. Be proactive, reveal your technological advantage to them to help them advance theirs

3. Be aggressive, use your technological advantage to bring them to their knees!

But before you decide you find out something... these people, whilst biologically the same as us, have one major advantage - they learn quickly, damned quickly. So much so that they've reached their industrial revolution in a fraction of the time it took us to get to ours and that, once they discover computers they will advance at a rate beyond anything like Moore's Law.

With this in mind your choices have some caveats:

• In being passive, you plan to study them in order to find out why they learn quickly with the intention of sending your findings back to mission control. However it takes time for you to do this, increasing the probability that our technological advantage could fall into their hands.
• In being proactive and sharing our technology with them you endanger us due to them advancing quickly to a level beyond ours so that they could reach earth and threaten us
• In being aggressive, in your attempts to conquer them, they fight back and your technological advantage fall into their hands thereby putting earth in danger of a revenge attack

So, which decision will you make?

And no, the mission hasn't got nukes on board.

And, again, no, the Prime Directive does not apply this isn't Star Trek.

And, yes, the odds of finding another planet full of humans is infinitesimally remote... fucking humour me!

World’s first anti-ageing drug could see humans live to 120

Now there's a contender for causing the zombie apocalypse, right here folks! :)

Abstract Art #7

aaand another abstract! Done from scratch using Illustrator and Photoshop, dunno why but an image of some rusty grating... fits my usual state of mind.

I wonder what's behind it?

Abstract Art #6

Here's my latest abstract, called 'fits of colour'... it represents small bits of joy floating against a sea of depression...

'No mates' Corbyn

This article shows just how much Labour MPs can't stand Jeremy Corbyn, here's the image:

With the power of Photoshop, I made it better:

Residents of Larkhall, I salute you!

The residents of Larkhall in Scotland have got the right idea in their response to the recent terrorist atrocities:

Absolutely fantastic, residents of Larkhall, take the rest of the day off!

Food, FTW!

Steak pie with baked beans then a couple of chocolate oatie biscuits with a cup of tea for pudding... I know how to live!

Of course I won't live long if I keep THAT kind of diet!

RIP Jonah Lomuh

You were an absolute powerhouse in world Rugby and few could stand in your way when you charged towards to touchline. A brilliant sportsman, you always had time for people off the field, a true Rugby statesman.

My most profound condolences to the Lomuh family and to all New Zealanders too, you have lost a great man.

Jonah Lomuh - the scourge of English Rugby

Photoshop CC 3D #101

Here's the latest two version of the 3D job I'm working on, the changes requested were for more wood textures with different angles on the grains and a version that looked more like plastic.

The plastic version

The wooden version

Using a master and then 5 Instances of the master for each face on the cubes really helps, particularly as I've had to do so many different versions. It means I can play with the texturing a lot more dynamically.

TV networks may cut back on ad breaks

Brilliant, I hope this really will be the case because I FUCKING HATE AD BREAKS...

This is all thanks to Netflix and others, long may their ad-free services continue :)

Abstract Art #5

Here's another one, I'm calling this one 'Orbital Shenanigans'... it could actually be a logo for some sort of space administration company in a movie ;)

Matthew McConaughey

What is it about Matthew McConaughey that makes me like him so much? He feels to me like a trusting older brother, or a brother's really cool friend who protects you from bullies at school.

Abstract Art #4

Yet more abstract art rendered from the dank recesses of my mind...

Although I don't know what the fuck I was thinking when I created this one?

Abstract Art #3

Ahh... the 80's decade in me is trying to get out!

I'm calling this one '80's Fibres' :)

Photoshop CC 3D #101

I've been toying with 3D in Photoshop CC again recently, this is for an actual job, it's part of a logo for a school...

You know I had to manually create all six sides for each cube in order to achieve the bevel effect I wanted? Pissed me right off as it took ages, Photoshop's modelling isn't as sophisticated as I first thought it was.

However the process was sped up somewhat by using the 'Instance' feature, all I needed to do was create one side, Instance it 5 times then move them into position to make the cube shape. Any changes made to the 'master' face was immediately applied to all the others.

Abstract Art #2

Here's another abstract, forged from my addled mind...

I call this one 'Breaking up the Rainbow'

Abstract Art #1

Thought I'd create a series of abstract art, stuff that reflects what's going on in my mind... this is the first one:

Fireworks at the Ricoh Arena

Went to the Wasps v Gloucester game today, which Wasps won 23-3... after the game they treated us to an awesome fireworks display:

RoK Personal Best :)

Yay, I have achieved a personal best in Reign of Kings - my building has remained untouched by the retarded actions of other players for one week! It's also a first that the server itself has stayed online long enough for me to be able to build and maintain my building for one week and that I have managed to avoid being kicked/banned through my own actions or the indirect actions of another player.

These are the things that rule the daily life of an RoK player... and it's only just beginning it's beta test period!

Scientists rule out presence of huge alien megastructure orbiting distant star

Bloody killjoys...

Article here

Staying the Course #8

Well I went to the party and rather naively thought it would be a boistrous piss-up, quite the opposite in fact. They hadn't finished their meal so I sat there chatting until they all finished then they went home!

And I gave up my pub crawl for that?!

So now I'm lying bed this morning with a massive hangover and nothing satisfying to justify it.

The moral of the story is this - avoid 40th birthday 'parent' parties unless you're one yourself!

Staying the Course #7

Well THAT didn't work out...

Staying the Course #6

So much for the party... 

Staying the Course #5

NOISE.

Yeah, this place is way louder and kicking than where I've been this evening. 90's music dude!

Anyway this pub is the last before I head to the party... where I've been told the music is gooooood ;) 

EDIT 1: By the way, beautiful bar staff in this place :)

EDIT2: It's Halloween night so fancy dress costums are everywhere... I was served by Heidi, when she went off to sort out my order, had to tell Super Girl that I was being served, but damn! Did I love both of them!!

Staying the Course #4

Next pub.

Now this place, I have spent many an enyoyable time :)

I was also turned away recently by the bouncers due to, I guess, looking too pissed.

Either way, this pub has a special place in my heart as we have all gotten drunk and boogied to the best 80's and 90's music has to offer :)

Unfortunately this place simply can't draw the crowds like it used to, I remember when the dancefloor was so packed you had to plan ahead in order to go for a piss (the toilet was, well, hard to get to) now I can just get up and moonwalk there.

EDIT 1: I went for a piss but didn't Moonwalk there, Health & Safety stopped me.

EDIT: 2 lol, evan after they've played 'Thriller' there is still Horse Racing being shown on at least two TV's in this place... there, right there, is a First World problem folks!

Staying the Course #3

Next pub.

This one is slightly rowdier due to a heady mixture of it being an Irish pub and full of drunken RWC fans, Kiwis or Aussies notwithstanding!

This is a pub that I've boogied in regularly. They play some cracking music.

EDIT: Having said that, I think I've criticised the resident DJ here before about playing too much crappy Reggae stuff, he's just come in and seen me...

EDIT2: Oh yes, and I think this is the place where I caught my cold too!

EDIT3: No-one, touches my pint

EDIT4: Uh-ho, lights have been turned down, music a little louder :)

EDIT5: Better finish my pint and move on, a group of lads have come in and taken the table near me... they are all a lttle too 'refreshed' for my liking... in other words, they'll want the table I'm sat at, which will involve some hitherto conversation that I can't be bothered to engage in.

Staying the Course #2

Okay, so I've now moved to another pub. I'm on my own (everyone else has gone their various ways, including my brother who has gone to the party) and I need to kill a few hours then get a taxi to the party venue...

The pub I'm in is one I've been in many times before and one that I've blogged about before. To recap, it's the one where I feared for my life when watching England draw a group game that we really should have won... and because of that it raised the ire of a crowd that were too young and way-too-drunk!

Tonight it's quite chilled, probably wouldn't be if England had had been in the RWC final, lost or otherwise.

The thing about this place that intruiges me is that damned huge glitterball hanging from the ceiling above me, I've never had the chance to strutt my stuff here because we always go elsewhere to boogy... ah well, maybe some other time.

Staying the Course #1

Right, I've been invited to a birthday party, however, I need to kill time.

You see, it's a mate of my brother's but not one of his ex-school/uni/neighbourhood mates, no, this one was spawned from a mutual family/kids connection, i.e. they met at the hospital when their wives were in labour and now they've got at least one kid the same age so they socialise a lot due to that.

Now, I reluctantly came out to the pub today to join various family members (including my brother) in watching the RWC final (hence my last post), and my bro' tells me he's off to that party after the game.

I'm invited, but only later on, I presume that's after all the booked-meal-consumed/kids-taken-home stuff.

That leaves a large group of possibly very drunk fourtysomethings.

So order to stay the course I need to do a very strategic pub crawl...